Am I Married?

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

1) I need to know if telling male relatives that “I will marry and wish to marry *insert name*” in general conversation, and also that same man tells his relatives that “I wish to marry and will marry her” (meaning me) institute a Nikah?

2) I have been in my ex-boyfriends company and also with his friends, who are male. if we are both together and he said “will you marry me” and I say “yes” & he would call me wifey and say you are my wife etc and he would say my name and then his surname and “we are going to marry”, “we will marry” and marriage declarations as such and I’d agree and respond, would nikah be valid?

• this would be company of our (male) friends all sat together.

• however, no one gathered for the purpose of Nikah, and no one thought a marriage was taking place.

• it would just be a normal get together in a public place, however, they were all mature sane men.

***(India deoband Darul ifta responded no but I need confirmation off you in order to move on from my horrid past)***

3) we have also done this in public with people randomly passing by. exactly as I’ve explained above the marriage declarations.
in this situation, whether these people who passed us many Muslims, thought it was a marriage taking place or not I do not know, I thoroughly doubt that though as I’m sure they’d think we are a typical couple. astagfirullah.

please could you clarify that by this, making clear of 1,2 and 3 situations my Nikah has NOT taken place, I am no longer in contact with all these men.


In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

A valid marriage takes place with exchanges to commit to marriage from both parties in the past or present tense. For example, the boy says, “I have married you” or “I am marrying you”. The girl responds by saying, “I have married you” or “I am marrying you”. These exchanges take place in the presence of two male Muslim witnesses who even understand that a marriage is being conducted.

In the enquired situation, the one party saying, “will you marry me or I wish to marry you” is a request to marry. It is not a commitment to marry. Such a statement falls short of fulfilling a fundamental condition for the validity of a marriage.[1][2]

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Abdullah ibn Mohammed Aijaz

Student Darul Iftaa
Baltimore, USA 

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

[1] الهداية في شرح بداية المبتدي (1/ 185)

قال: ” النكاح ينعقد بالإيجاب والقبول بلفظين يعبر بهما عن الماضي ” لأن الصيغة وإن كانت للإخبار وضعا فقد جعلت للإنشاء شرعا دفعا للحاجة ” وينعقد بلفظين يعبر بأحدهما عن الماضي وبالآخر عن المستقبل مثل أن يقول زوجني فيقول زوجتك……… قال: ” ولا ينعقد نكاح المسلمين إلا بحضور شاهدين حرين عاقلين بالغين مسلمين رجلين أو رجل وامرأتين عدولا كانوا أو غير عدول أو محدودين في القذف ” قال رضي الله عنه اعلم أن الشهادة شرط في باب النكاح لقوله عليه الصلاة والسلام ” لا نكاح إلا بشهود “. 

[2] مختصر القدوري (ص: 146) 

وينعقد نكاح المرأة الحرة البالغة العاقلة برضاها وإن لم يعقد عليها ولي عند أبي حنيفة

المبسوط للسرخسي (4/ 196)

 المرأة غير ممنوعة من أن تزوج نفسها ممن يكافئها وأن النكاح ينعقد بعبارتها

الهداية في شرح بداية المبتدي (1/ 185)

 ولا ينعقد نكاح المسلمين إلا بحضور شاهدين حرين عاقلين بالغين مسلمين رجلين أو رجل وامرأتين عدولا كانوا أو غير عدول

This answer was collected from, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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