I want to know that is it permitted in Islam to once see the girl we are arranged, with the permission of parents. I have read this Hadith Bakr Ibn Abdullah al-Muzani narrated that: Mughirah Ibn Shu’bah proposed to a woman, so the Holy Prophet (pbuh) said: “Look at her, for indeed that is more likely to make things better between the two of you.”[Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1087]. And is it necessary that parents will only choose the girl to marry with because my parents are compelling me to marry the girl I am engaged, whom i don’t like. I am saying them to please see another girl but they are not seeing another girl. They believe that the person who rejects the engaged girl is worst Muslim and they feel insulted to refuse the girl. Even I have heard video bayan of Maulana Tariq Jameel on his sons’ walimah saying it is the right of children to ask them before arranging nikah. Please give me the authentic reply of what I should do and what parents should do.
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
(Fatwa: 759/768/L=06/1436)
The Hadith you quoted is correct. Islam allows the boy to have a look at the proposed girl.
أو النكاح فلا بأس أن ينظر إليها مع الشهوة لما روى أن المغيرة أراد أن يتزوج امرأة فقال عليه الصلاة والسلام أنظر إليها فانه أحرى أن يودم بينكما” (مجمع الانهر)
At the time of marriage, parents should give due consideration to the consent of their children while finalizing the proposal, it is not good to marry the children against their consent forcefully as sometimes it invites problems.
Note: The Hadith here refers looking at that girl with whom the proposal is finalized. It does not refer to look at a girl with the intention of approving or disapproving her just like looking the goods in the market. For that purpose, one should send the women of his family.
Allah knows Best!
Darul Ifta,
Darul Uloom Deoband
