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How Can I Convince My Father To Accept a Proposal From a Good Man?

Answered as per Shafi'i Fiqh by Seekersguidance.org

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question:

I’m an educated 26-year-old woman, and I try my best to educate myself and practice my deen. I have been proposed marriage respectfully by a man whose deen and character I am pleased with. My dad has refused to look at that and has dismissed him on subtle cultural differences. I’m being compelled to consider someone else who doesn’t please me but pleases my dad due to his culture, without even knowing him.

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I empathize with your frustration, but the only thing you can do is make dua for the best, communicate with your dad, and trust that Allah will make the best thing happen.

Make dua

Allah Most High has planned out your life since before you were born, and it is our job to intend to fulfill our duties to our Lord, to those around us, and for marriage, to choose a suitor for deen. Ask Allah to help you make this decision; it will give you peace of mind. Recite these duas daily:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/marriage/dua-make-someone-spouse/

Communicate

Explain to your dad gently and with the best etiquette that you believe the first suitor to be the best person for you. Tell him that you feel strongly about this. Ask him to meet him again or to ask others about him. Tell him t take his time.

If he still forces you to consider someone else, then do that, consider him, but you have the full right to say no. At the same time, don’t be close-minded and assess the other man as well. You should meet him, numerous times if necessary, to make a sure decision about him. Sometimes our parents know us better than we know ourselves, and he might see something in this man that you don’t. Just give it a fair chance.

In the end

You will either end up with the man that you desire, or you won’t. There is nothing wrong with this, and I am sure that you and the person destined for you is the best for you. Trust in Allah, continuously ask Him for submission, guidance, and reliance on Him. Pray the Prayer of Need and rise before dawn to communicate with your Lord. I truly believe that if you are marrying with a good intention, you will find the perfect man for you. Try not to decide by emotions. Please see the links below for more tips. May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

https://seekersguidance.org/answers/marriage/can-a-father-refuse-to-meet-a-suitor-for-his-daughter/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/parents/what-can-i-do-if-my-parents-do-not-accept-the-person-i-want-to-marry/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/dua-sufficient-get-married-particular-person/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

 

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.

 

This answer was collected from Seekersguidance.org. It’s an online learning platform overseen by Sheikh Faraz Rabbani. All courses are free. They also have in-person classes in Canada.

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