Assalamualaikum
I am a young teen and I have had a problem with masturbation and pornography for a number of years now. I feel its desire, then I commit both after trying to restrain myself, and either I stop for a couple of weeks or I keep masturbating till all of my desires are gone for another couple weeks. The longest I have lasted was about a month. Even in Ramadan and after ‘Umrah I still have not been able to stop. Marriage isn’t an option in the USA at such a young age, parents dont understand this situation. Please advise what I should do and make dua for me.
I masturbated and watched pornography out of desire. Since Ramadan was approaching, I felt really guilty and I swore to Allah and upon Hs glory and might that I wouldn’t do it from that day till the end of Eid. I ended up commiting the same acts two days later. How do I expiate for this sin?
I have also been attracted to a white girl from my grade since the beginning of my school year. Alhamdulillah I haven’t done any big moves on her and have mainly kept this to me and some others. I made dua and I still do from time to time for her guidance. I would really like if she found guidance and we could get married. I know this might be foolish/funny, but I truly want this to happen. I understand that it is just hormonal as I have gotten over other females before with the same feelings, but I want this to happen. What is the maximum extent to which I can interact with her? What can I talk to her about? Can I talk to her about Deen? Should I be making du’aa for her and if so how much?
I have completed 5 years at a hifz madrasah and I am now in highschool and Allah has given us the ability to pray Jumu’a there, and I lead. It is sad that I do these sins and then carry out such a magnificent task that I am unworthy of. There are other boys that have varying knowledge of Deen, but I say this as the reality and not to demean anyone, their knowledge isn’t too much although they might be better than me in the sight of Allah, I have led for 5 weeks straight, should I give the other boys a chance to lead the Jumu’a if they prepare for it? Please make du’aa for you brother in need,
May Allah accept and reward you.
الجواب وباللہ التوفیق
Watching pornography, lewd pictures and masturbation is haram. In the ahadith of Rasulullah Sallallho ‘Alyhi Wasallam, Allaah and His angels’ curse has been mentioned for such actions. In some of the weak narrations, it is mentioned that the fingers of such a person will be pregnant on the day of judgement.
In other narrations it has been mentioned that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala will not cast his sight of mercy on such a person.
- Therefore, make sincere repentence
- Remind yoursef that Allaah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala is always watching you
- Remind yourself and realize the severety of the above mentioned warnings
- Fast regularly
- Avoid being in seclusion
- Stop using the internet
- Remain in the company of pious people and elders and join their gatherings regularly
- Recite the 3rd Kalimah (i.e. tamjeed) 100 times each in the morning and the evening
- Whenever you are having such inclinations or thoughts then recite تعوذ (seeking refuge from Shaitan) اعوذ بااللہ من الشیطان الرجیم
- If it is possible then get married as soon as possible. In fact, in such a condition the Nikah becomes fardh (mandatory). It is seemingly necessary to mention a point in reference to the experts in medicine that those people who are in such a habit lose their potence very soon after marriage and they become unable to fulfill the physical rights of their wife
Keep these things in mind, Inshaa Allaah you will get rid of these bad habits.
As far as the امامت leading salat is concerned, until you make repentence and get rid of this habit, till then leading salah for you is considered makrooh, therefore you should avoid leading salah. After getting rid of this habit you can lead salah.
ألا لعنة الله والملائكة والناس أجمعين على …. على ناكح يده(کنز العمال:۴۴۰۵۸)
وإخراج المني باليد حرام في الكتاب والسنة قال الله تعالى: ?َالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ * إِلاَّ عَلَى أَزْوَاجِهِمْ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ * فَمَنِ ابْتَغَى وَرَاءَ ذَلِكَ فَأُوْلَئِكَ هُمُ العَادُونَ?[المؤمنون: 5، 6، 7] أي: الظالمون المتجاوزون الحلال إلى الحرام.
قال البغوي: في الآية دليل أن الاستمناء باليد حرام، وهو قول العلماء (2).
قال ابن جريج: سئلت عطاء عنه فقال: «بلغني عن رسول الله – صلى الله عليه وسلم -: أن قوماً يحشرون وأيديهم حبالى» وأظنهم هؤلاء۔
( تفسير البغوي (3/303)۔ (شرح صحیح البخاری: لشمس الدین السفیری:۳۴/۲۷)
وعن سعيد بن جبير: عذب الله أمة كانوا يعثبون بمذاكيرهم (4).( تفسير البغوي (3/303).)
’’ ویکرہ امامۃ عبد واعرابی وفاسق واعمی قولہ وفاسق من الفسق وہوالخروج عن الاستقامۃ ولعل المراد بہ من یرتکب الکبائر کشارب الخمر والزانی واٰکل الربا ونحوذلک… واماالفاسق فقدعللوا کراہۃ تقدیمہ بانہ لایہتم لامردینہ وبان فی تقدیمہ للامامۃ تعظیمہ وقدوجب علیہم اہانتہ شرعا ولایخفی انہ اذاکان اعلم من غیرہ لاتزول العلۃ فانہ لایؤمن ان یصلی بہم بغیرطہارۃ فہوکالمبتدع تکرہ امامۃ بکل حال المنیۃ علی ان کراہۃ تقدیمہ کراہۃتحریم ‘‘ … ( درمختارمع الشامی : ۴۱۴ / ۱ )
الأولى بالإمامة أعلمهم بأحكام الصلاة. هكذا في المضمرات وهو الظاهر. هكذا في البحر الرائق هذا إذا علم من القراءة قدر ما تقوم به سنة القراءة هكذا في التبيين ولم يطعن في دينه. كذا في الكفاية وهكذا في النهاية.= ويجتنب الفواحش الظاهرة.(الفتاوی الھندیۃ:۱؍۸۳، الفصل الثاني في بيان من هو أحق بالإمامة)
فقط واللہ اعلم بالصواب