Answered by Ustadh Abdullah Anik Misra
Question: Assalam Alaikum.
Hello I am a teenage girl and my iman is at an all time low. I worry about this, yet I still can’t get up to pray. I feel myself falling more and more into the darkness. I also made a promise to Allah that I would read Quran for 45 minutes a day. But now it is so hard to do that. Must I fulfill my promise? Also, please help me find some way to do things just for the sake of Allah and not for the sake of others. I think I have done good actions in the past, but a lot of them were because people were around me.
Answer: In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate,
Wa alaikum assalam Sister-in-Islam,
Thank you for your question. If we could see the love and mercy of Allah Most High surrounding us and carrying us through each moment, even when we are at the lowest point in faith, we would never lose hope that Allah wants good for us.
Even when outwardly, things seem to be going wrong, yet inside, you are filled with regret, and inspired to nothing more than longing for change in yourself, then know that Allah is trying to bring you closer to Him by making you realize your neediness to Him. He’s showing you how to come to Him, so seek refuge in His mercy from your mistakes, admit your dependency on Him, ask Him for His aid- and then take baby steps towards Him.
Do not despair of Allah’s mercy. Allah Most High says in the Qur’an, “Oh My servants who have transgressed upon their own souls! Do not despair of the Mercy of Allah! Indeed Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is the Oft-Forgiving and Compassionate.” [Qur’an 39:53]
Despair is how Shaytan tricks good believers into thinking they can’t come up. Although making a promise and breaking it is wrong, you’re intention was to improve. Return to Allah in repentance sincerely, but do not focus on “things” and “acts” to do. Focus on the state of your heart with Allah in fulfilling your basic duties such as prayer first. Take on small extra worships as you feel grounded, and if you falter, don’t lose hope. Reflect on Allah’s love for you, and make remembrance of Him in gratitude.
Shaytan will also say that you only did good things in the past to show-off, so your acts are all nullified. Don’t listen to this, rather commit yourself to sincerity from today. Try to do things in private if you can, and do not increase or decrease your regular worship whether people see it or not. If good company encourages you to seek Allah more, this is not shirk or hypocrisy, rather the blessings of community, so seek out practicing, believing sisters to be around. Seek knowledge to promote your inner growth.
Abdullah Anik Misra
Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani