How to convert my Catholic girlfriend to Islam and teach her to be a good Muslim?

Jazakallahu Khayran for giving us the opportunity to be of service.

At the outset, we would like to remind you that having a girlfriend is not permissible. Further, it is not possible to make someone Muslim just by telling her to become Muslim. The act of becoming Muslim isn’t simply like wearing a pair of clothes, rather it is an affirmation of faith verbally and acceptance by the heart. For someone to become a Muslim, it is important that they study, understand the contract enters them into fraternity of Islam. Another thing to bear in mind is that affirmation is an encapsulated acceptance of all the articles of faith, which demonstrates how important it is to educate about the beliefs of Islam. This is especially essenital when old beliefs linger, as they do. Let me explain, this girl being a catholic Christian will likely hold beliefs which are contrary to Islam, for example Christian beliefs about ‘Eesa (Jesus) and Alayhis Salaam are ones which cannot co-exist with the beliefs of Islam. Just from this simple example, it is patently obvious that simply telling her to accept Islam is not nearly enough to what is expected. Rather all of these important concepts need to be explained and then the choice rests with her to accept or not, as the case may be.

As you have rightly indicated, assisting someone to take the road of Islam, is undoubtedly a magnificent and noble act. A report describes it as better than “red camels”, a most valuable commodity in those days to quantify, yet of course this is but a similitude. The rewards of this person would be deposited in the one who encouraged one to do so, without diminishing their reward. However, one must realise that the way one is brought into Islam is also very important. Take the example of a doctor who performs a major operation, with the training and experience, the essential incision is simple and a life is saved. Yet, if an experienced person were to attempt to do the same, most probably the operation would go horribly wrong, and perhaps even result in death. Many a time, someone accepts Islam because a few merits have been brought in front of them, yet because they were not conditioned, given time, necessary support etc. they leave Islam disgusted with Muslims. In couples where one is a revert, the born Muslim spouse just wanted them to accept Islam for marriage and the necessary Islamic Knowledge often is not imparted hence the poor girl is deprived of a fair start to the Deen. If God forbid, the marriage were to fail, then they would likely leave Islam. It s very very important, that conversion is not simply followed through for marriage purposes.

As a priority, sever all connections with this girl (and terminate any other friendly relationships) no matter how difficult it maybe at first. This is a condition for Tawbah (repentance). Do not visit her residence, approach her, meet up with her and so on. Whether she wants to become a Muslim or not is her prerogative. If you wish to pursue marriage with this girl assuming that she accepts Islam then broach the subject with your mother or another relative and relay your feelings then progress further through families not thru direct personal contact. Make Mashwarrah (consultation) and make Istikharah (a 2 rak’aat Salaah petitioning Allah to guide one to the right decision. If you need details, let me know.). Realise well that you do not owe each other anything, that is to say, you must not feel obliged to marry her because of his conversion (or not as the case maybe). If you decide not to go ahead for whatever reason then forget about her. You are complete strangers as far as the Shari’ah is concerned anyway. The past is gone and spent. You have your whole life ahead of you so invest life in pleasing the One Lord, Allah.

And Allah knows Best
Wa Alaykumussalaam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh

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(Mufti) Abdullah Patel
Halal Food Guide