Punishment for a Sister Who No More Loves and Respects Her Husband

Assalaamu’ Alaikum

I have a question regarding a sister who is asking for some advice regarding her husband.

She is obedient to her husband and fears Allah so out of her fear she acts and behaves like a wife should according to Islam.

Her husband is abusive, mentally tortures her and some times physically,his never happy no matter how she does things to please him, his not practicing Islam. Basically his wife does everything from cooking to tying his shoe lace, because his to lazy to do that.

The sister wants to know due to this treatment from her husband, she no longer loves him, and in her heart she cant respect him, and she has started resenting him, but still feeling like this towards her husband, she carries on fulfilling her duty as a wife, purely for the sake of Allah.

What she wants to know, will she be punished by Allah because in her heart she doesn’t love her husband and has no respect and resents him? Because of his treatment towards her,she feels if she is feeling like this towards him now, its because he has put her in that spot.

Jazakallahu khairan in advance.

Wa’alaykum as Salām wa raḥmatullāhi wa barakātuhu,

May Allāḥ Ta’ālā make it easy for the sister.

Love is something which is linked to the heart, and hence beyond the control of humans.

It is for this reason that Nabi صلي الله عليه وسلم , in spite of being so just to all his noble consorts, he would still pray:

اللهم هذا قسمى فيما أملك فلا تلمنى فيما تملك ولا أملك ». يعنى القلب أخرجه أبو داود في سننه
(208/2)

“Oh Allah, this is the division in that which I have power, do not take me to account for that which is beyond my ability (love)” (Sunan Abi Dawud 2/208)

This narration proves that love is beyond ones control. Hence the sister will not get any sin for not loving her husband. However, to the best of her ability, she should constantly respect her husband. She will be sinning if she shows disrespect. Remember, respect begets respect.

The sister should perhaps consider getting her husband counselled. She should also continuously implore Allāh Ta’ālā to make her husband a better person.