I received a marriage proposal, Alhumdulliah. The guy is extremely religious and has a good job as well. I have prayed to Allah many times to grant me a spouse who will assist me in my religious matters. My parents met him few weeks ago and were extremely satisfied with his behaviour and personality. There are not many men and women who practice Islam where I live seriously so when I received his proposal, I felt like it was Allah answering my duas.
My parents met his mother and vice versa and both parties were satisfied. Now, they are waiting for the guy’s maternal uncles to come from abroad so that they can fix a date.
My mother does not communicate much with me. She kept all this to herself and to the elders of the family. She only told me I got a proposal from this person. I did istikhara but I did not know that the both parties had already agreed to everything prior to my ishtikara.
I have no objections to this marriage. But after my istikhara, I got no results. I suddenly developed a very good opinion of the guy without ever meeting or seeing him. I asked a sheikh and he told me if the proposal is right for me then Allah will create opportunities (after istikhara) and otherwise hinderances.
Now that everything has been decided without my knowledge, I did instikhara and 3-4 weeks later, when I asked my mother when his maternal uncles are coming, she said they have come but his uncle has fallen sick so we will delay it a few days.
Should I consider it a hinderance and tell my parents to reject him now?
Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
Istikharah is a Dua (prayer), wherein you are asking Allah to destine the matter if it is good for you, and to distance you from it if it is bad for you. In Istikharah we are acknowledging that we do not know anything beyond the surface, and we are asking Allah for guidance in that which is hidden from us.
Istikharah should be done for a maximum of seven days, and thereafter you should leave the outcome to Allah. You do not have to tell your parents, nor do you have to do anything else from your side.
And Allaah Ta’aala knows best
Ismail Moosa (Mufti)
حضرت تھانوی قدس سرہ کی تحقيق صحيح ہے کہ دارد قلبی پر عمل کرنا ضروری نہیں ہے، بلکہ اسباب و موانع پر نظر رکھے (احسن الفتاوی – 3/479)
. وينبغي أن يكررها سبعا، لما روى ابن السني (يا أنس إذا هممت بأمر فاستخر ربك فيه سبع مرات، ثم انظر إلى الذي سبق إلى قلبك فإن الخير فيه) ( رد المحتار – 2/ 27)
اس دعاء کی برکت يہ ہوگی کہ باوجود اسکے ارادہ کے خير ہی کا صدورہوگا غير خير کا صدور ہی نہ ہوگا (بوادر النوادر – ص: 463)
This answer was collected from Fatwaa.com which is an excellent Q&A site managed by Mufti Ismail Moosa from South Africa. .