Answered by: Maulana Jamal Ahmed
I am writing to you concerning my relationship with the person that suppose to be my husband. This person more than 2 years ago pronounces on different days and in a different situation the sentence of the divorce. Then he took me again and he was for him normal pronounce the sentence and take me again. He did this more than 4 times then I decided to escape and we were separated for more than 1 year and a half last summer he comes back to me and he said what he did is not valid because he was at this time Psychological sick.
I was lost and I believe it him but this March thanks to God I started again to pray. I feel I cannot have a Halal relation with this man because he divorced from me many times, left me alone with a baby without paying me anything and came back to take benefits and money from me without treating me as a person. Now I asked 2 Sheiks about this. The first say: “the pronounce of the divorce is not valid because he is crazy” the second ” I must be patient with a bad husband, only if he is again my pray and my religion I am allowed to leave him”
I cannot have sex with him, I am so hurt from him, I am totally not happy and I feel like a cage. I am 28 years Italian convert Muslim alhamdulillah, I have a child. Please answer me if our relation as to considered finished or not! I cannot believe that after all of this and he even had another woman during our relation, our married is still valid!
Please give an answer I continue to cry nonstop!
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
May Allah subhanahuwata’alah ease your problems and grant you a beautiful life. Allah inflicts these problems on people so that he can forgive their minor sins, or to elevate their status, or that they can leave whatever major sins they may be doing and repent to Allah subhanahuwata’alah. You should remain patient and be steadfast on your deen, also keep seeking advice from good scholars. Allah says in the Quran, “O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.” Surah Al-Baqarah, ayah 153.
Coming to your question, you said that your husband gave you talaq four times on different occasions, in this case, you are permanently separated from him because after three talaqs the husband and wife cannot get back together unless the woman marries another man and he divorces her or dies.
AS for him claiming that he was psychologically ill, if he was known to the people to be psychologically ill and he takes an oath that, at the time he pronounced the talaq he was psychologically disturbed, then the talaq will not take place. Similarly, if he was not known to the people to be psychologically ill but, if two upright men or two upright women and one man give testimony that at the time he gave talaq he was psychologically ill, then talaq will not take place.
However, if he was not known to the people to have mental problems and at the time he pronounced the talaq, there was no witness to testify then talaq will take place. (Ahsanul Fatawa, vol.5, pg. 162, HM Saeed Company)
Only Allah knows best.
Written by Maulana Jamal Ahmed
Checked and Approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham