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How to Resolve Dispute Between Spouses

Answered by: Ustaadha Bint Salih



What is the position of Islam in the following situation:

My wife offended me grievously, and as such I asked her to report to her parents and should tell them what she had done to me. She is to remain with her parents until I am invited to resolve the matter with her, then I will bring her back.

The intention is to punish her and as well to reform her. Is this acceptable in Islam?


The recompense of evil is evil like it. Then the one who forgives and opts for compromise has his reward undertaken by Allah. Surely, He does not like the unjust.

(Surah Ash-Shoorah, Verse 40)

`Abdullah bin Az-ZubairRadiAllahu Anh has said:

Allah ordered His Prophet to forgive the people their misbehaviour (towards him).

(Sahih al Bukhari, Book of Tafseer, Hadith 4644).

…As for those wivesof whom your fear their violation, then advise them and separate from them in the bed…

(Surah An-Nisaa Verse 34)

Firstly, I would like to stress on the importance and value given to the act of forgiveness in Islam. I have quoted just one of the many Quranic verses and Ahadith in this regard. Despite your anger and sadness (which is a result of your wife’s behaviour towards you), if you opt to forgive her then Allah SWT will reward you highly.

Secondly, I want to look at the prescription Allah SWT himself has stated in the Holy Quran for husbands to follow when their wives are rebellious towards them. The initial approach is to speak to them, advise them in a polite and calm manner. If this does not work you may wish to sleep separately from them. If you follow the procedure which Allah SWT has laid, there will be blessings and goodness in your marriage.

With regards to your question, you may choose to deal with the situation the way you want. However if you decide to follow the guidance found in Quran and Hadith, you see the results to be more fruitful inshaAllah.

Only Allah knows best.

Ustaadha Bint Salih.          

Darul Ifta Birmingham

Checked and Approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

This answer was collected from DarulIftaBirmingham.co.uk, which is run under the supervision of Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah from the United Kingdom.

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