I am 25 years old and unmarried man, before i was in work of dawath i.e 2 years back, i was loving to make girl friends, watching movies and free to go anywhere with friends. but now i have stopped every thing and i have no friends like this. but sometimes i watch TV serials which family related. but the problem is, i get tempatation b’coz of watching wall poster not intentionally , and pop up adds that comes in net, bcoz i spend lot of time in nets and also bad dreams. i control my temper for one week , for a month, and something even upto 2-3 months. After i get tempted i can’t resist myself to watch porn sites in net.( hopefully this time i don’t) usually by next day itself i have got taufeeqs to make dua and isteqfaar for this. and promising myself not to do ever again. but again after some days. the tempatation starts. plz help me to control myself. plz suggest me any amal or wazeefa or every possibility to achive control. I want to be a person with pure Taqwa. (it may takes to do NIKAH around 2-3 years.) I have seen some questions and answers on your site. and it helps me a bit. infact i pray 5 times salaath, i do weekly gust, weekly markaz istama, daily taalim infazr, then masjid ka mashaura and per day one mulaaqaath(gust).
May Allah Ta’ala reward you for your concern.
There are a number of remedies that you should consider.
Firstly, tv should be totally abandoned. Even so called family related serials are Haraam.
Secondly, when you see any poster or pop up adds, immediate lower the gaze and divert your attention to something else. This requires courage and determination.
Thirdly, only go onto the net when you have genuine work. Before going on, jot down the work one has to do. Then do only that which you have to. Once you have finished your necessary work, log off immediately. You will see that you find much more time for yourself, your family and for your Deen.
Fourthly, the Hadith recommends nafl fasting. Initially you will not see any effect, but after a while it will weaken your desires. Thus fasting should be done with consistency.
Fifthly, you can take an oath that if you return to this evil of watching pornography, then you will punish yourself with some form of Ibaadah. You know which type of Ibaadah is difficult for you. For example, if you find giving charity difficult, then take an oath that every time you get caught in this filth, you will give a considerable sum in charity. Similarly you can make an oath that if you, in a state of weakness, get involved in this immorality, you will perform 20 rakaats of nafl salaah. Thereafter, you should ensure that you carry out your oath if necessary.
Sixthly, you should ponder over the favours of Allah Ta’ala upon you. Take for example, Allah Ta’ala has blessed you with eyesight. What if, due to our sins, Allah Ta’ala snatches away our eyesight, one can imagine how difficult life would be. Then, when the temptation to do watch this muck, ponder that one is actually challenging Allah Ta?la, as if one is trying to test whether Allah Ta’ala has the power to take away this bounty. Surely, in any challenge, Allah Ta’ala will be victorious.
Seventhly, make enquiries from you local Ulama who are the pious servants of Allah Ta’ala in your area. Try to spend some time in their company, with the intention that you would follow the advices of these pious persons. If you feel comfortable with their company, then one could explain to them your problem, and follow the advices they offer.
May Allah Ta?la grant us all his obedience. Aameen.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Ml. Imraan Vawda
FATWA DEPT.