Assalaamu ‘alaikum wa rahmatullah to all the members of Askimam.
I am very very disturbed due to a situation i am in. Me and husband got intimate after more than a month. We got intimate to conceive. I tried to remember everything I had read in Maulana Mufti Desai sahab’s Etiquettes of Marital Relations pdf booklet. Avoiding facing or showing ones back towards Qiblah, doing in later part of the night, covering with blanket, reciting dua before commencing, no excessive talk, thinking of a buzurf of deen. I was trying to be mindful.
I did ghusl and woke husband up too and offered Fajr to avoid disobedient kids.
I was happy i carried out all the acts.
Then I opened the pdf booklet to check if I missed something.
I forgot to recite the second dua which is supposed to be recited in the mind. I also forgot to check the dates before commencing. The night we did was a Wednesday, the night of 15th Zilhajj. It completely slipped my mind. I always tell other girls to follow these etiquettes but i myself forgot.
We did it just once. I do not know If I will conceive or not through this consummation.
I am so so pareshaan…I am doing dua to not conceive on this particular day and date and for not reciting the second dua, I do not want dull, backward and disobedient kids.
What to do, Mufti sahab? How should I rectify it?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam.
There is nothing for you to worry about.
Refer to the following hadith:[1]
عنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ قَالَ “ إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَضَعَ عَنْ أُمَّتِي الْخَطَأَ وَالنِّسْيَانَ
Translation:
Hadhrat Ibn ‘Abbas [Radhiallahu Anhu] narrates that the Prophet [Sallallahu Alaihi Wa-Sallam] said: Allah has forgiven my nation for mistakes and forgetfulness, and what they are forced to do.
[Sunan-Ibn-Majah 3/200 Darul-Risalah-Alamiyyah]
You will not be held responsible for forgetting to read the duas.
Recite the following dua:
رَبَّنَا هَبۡ لَنَا مِنۡ أَزۡوَٲجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّـٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعۡيُنٍ۬ وَٱجۡعَلۡنَا لِلۡمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
Transliteration:
Rabbana Hablana Min Azwajina Wa Thurriyyatina Qurrata Aayun. Wajalna Lil Muttaqeena Imama
Translation:
Oh our lord! Grant us from our wives and our children coolness of our eyes and make us leaders of the righteous [Surah Furqan /Verse 74]
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Ridwaan Ibn Khalid Esmail [Kasak]
Student Darul Iftaa
Katete, Zambia
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
__
[1] سنن ابن ماجه (1/ 659)
عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، قَالَ: «إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَضَعَ عَنْ أُمَّتِي الْخَطَأَ، وَالنِّسْيَانَ، وَمَا اسْتُكْرِهُوا عَلَيْهِ»
الناشر: دار إحياء الكتب العربية – فيصل عيسى البابي الحلبي
سنن ابن ماجه ت الأرنؤوط (3/ 200)
حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمُصَفَّى الْحِمْصِي، حَدّثَنَا الْوَلِيدُ بْنُ مُسْلِمٍ، حَدّثَنَا الْأَوْزَاعِي، عَنْ عَطَاءٍ عَنْ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، عَنْ النَّبِيِّ – صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ – قَالَ: “إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَضَعَ عَنْ أُمَّتِي الْخَطَأَ وَالنِّسْيَانَ وَمَا اسْتُكْرِهُوا عَلَيْهِ
الناشر: دار الرسالة العالمية
سنن ابن ماجه ت الأرنؤوط (3/ 201)
حديث صحيح، وهذا إسناد منقطع، فإن عطاء -وهو ابن أبي رباح- لم يسمعه من ابن عباس، والواسطة بينهما عُبيد بن عمير، أخل بذكرها الوليد بن مسلم فإن له أوهامًا، وذكرها بشر بن بكر التنيسي وهو من ثقات أصحاب الأوزاعي. وعبيد بن عمير ثقة.
وأخرجه الطحاوي في “شرح معاني الآثار” 3/ 95، وابن حيان (7219)، والطبراني في “المعجم الصغير” (765)، والدارقطني (4351)، والحاكم 2/ 198، والبيهقي 7/ 356، وابن حزم في “الأحكام في أصول الأحكام” 5/ 149 من طريق بشر بن بكر، عن الأوزاعي، عن عطاء بن أبي رباح، عن عُبيد بن عمير، عن ابن عباس.
الناشر: دار الرسالة العالمية