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Is it okay to stay married despite family opposition?

Assalamoalekum WW I am a girl of 21 years, I feel in love wid my classmate 3 years back and after thinking a lot with a religious point of view we had Nikah 1 and a half years back, it was a secret marriage involving me n my bridegroom n 3 witnesses( all baligh). we didn’t inform our parents about it. Gradually our physical intimacy increased and we had a sexual relationship. about 6 months back, the boys parents got to know about it, they came to inform my parents and his mother warned me not to talk to her son, and left things for the future, the boy was also given this warning. But being in the same class and being sexually addicted it was impossible for us to stay without talking to each other for so long, and things bacame the same between us. Now and then the boys mother keeps on crying and cursing him for taking such a big step without informing her, because being a mother off-course she had lots of dreams for his marriage. I being a girl, dont want to go to his house in the future where my in-laws dont want to accept me. The boy is very religious and he has told me clearly he will do watever his parents ask him to do, if they ask him to divorce me , he will divorce me. I am in a fix now as to what should I do. My parents dont know the details of the nikah and they dont know that I am actually married because they have a different mindset and for them nikah means something like a big ceremony and they think this was just a childish thing that we did and it should be forgotten. They dont know that I was physically involved with him, and I dont have the courage to tell them this. Wat should I do now? Should I stop talking to the boy? In case his parents ask him to divorce me, will I have to Sit on Iddat? In case I am college going, can I sit on Iddat without missing college, as being a student it is very difficult 4 me to miss college 3 months?Is it possible to sit in Iddat secretly? Wat should we do, should we listen to our parents or continue with our marriage? Pleaase reply as soon as possible I am undergoing a very bad phase of my life please help me as soon as possible. Duaon ki Darwkhwast hai

Answer:

(Fatwa: 1035/D=121/K/1430)

When you solemnized Nikah in presence of witness and established sexual relations also, you should try to continue the Nikah and relation i.e. you should inform your parents properly of the true situation, who also should deliberate seriously and prudently ways to maintain the relationship. This is better for you and your families.

But, if there is no way to continue the Nikah except talaq, the husband should give one talaq bain. After that, the wife will have to observe iddah (of three menses)during which she is prohibited to come out of home, have makeup, so going to college will be sin. However, if there was no option but to go to college and you went in daytime, your iddah shall be over after three menses, but you will be sinful for going out.

Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) knows Best

Darul Ifta,
Darul Uloom Deoband

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This answer was collected from the official ifta website of Darul Uloom Deoband in India.

Tags: Divorce, Iddah, intimacy, makeup, Marriage, parents

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