i am a student studying at rhodes university in grahamstown. im in my thrid year of pharmacy( i have one year left) i met someone at the beginning of last year and we have beentogether since then.he is also studing pharmacy, from south africa and is a year younger than me,last year after we had been together for about 6 months we both decided to tell our parents we wanted to do what was islamically correct and get married.well his parents were okwith that but mine werent AT ALL!!!!they were disappointed cos wanted other things for me.its been more than a year now and things have kmproved.ive met his parents and his met my mum and grandmother and both sides think the other is good and a nice girl/boy etc. however his parents said that they would be prepared to support the two of us except payying for my education.they daid that my parents would have to do that. my father said he will never pay for my education if i get married. i have one more year left and he has two but we both feel that we ar eliving in an environment that might cause us to do somthing wrong and that the best thing would be for us to get married.this is causing me alot of anguish because i want to do what is right inAllah’s eyes and make this a halaal relationship!but i fear my parents more than Allah because they said under NO CIRCUMSTANCES will they let us get married before i finish. i know this reasonable but i am afraid of committing a sin and i dont want to put my family name to shame .as it stands it would seem that i am fearing ym parents more than the Almighty and it should be like that!we had thought to get married with out their consent and then try and eal with the consequences later but i love my parents and i dont want them to hate me for that decision but i struggle with my conscience everyday because i want this realtionship…but i want it legal!please advise me!
You cannot expect to put a block of butter next to the fore and not melt. The butter must be taken away from the fire. You are in an environment of intermingling of sexes. Your parents have sent you there. They cannot expect you not to be melted (attracted) by the fire of boys (heat). That is exactly what is happening to you now. Your parents should live up to reality and decide to either get you out from the university or get you married.
You should discuss your predicament with your parents and tell them you wish to stay away from sin. If they still refuse, then you should do whatever is possible to abstain from sin even if it means for you to leave the university.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai