Assalaamualaikum,
The fatwa I need is for the following problem. My brother had an issue with which he asked me to help him solve it but it ended up taking turn for the worse. What happened was that my brother’s wife had a fight with my little nieces. My brother then approached me and asked me to help solve the issue. When I told his wife and my nieces to sit together so I can talk to both of them, she refused to do so. Then my brother told me not to interfere even though I was just trying to help them out as he told me. Then he started to fight with me and told me to stop acting like my in-laws and started to compare me with them because he doesn’t like them. When I started defending me and my family, he got angrier. After two days he came and told my mother “if I talk to (referring to me), or meet her or take part in a good or bad situation (happiness or sadness), then my wife has three divorces.”
I was very shocked because I never expected these words to come out of him because we always had a strong bond. He never told my mother this right away: he came two days later and told her about his decision.
My whole family lives in a different country and since then I haven’t talked to him in any form to avoid the divorce with his wife. He didn’t want to break any relations with his wife; he just said this in anger to hurt me and to place restrictions on himself with me.
My question is:
1) If I visit my parents to meet them and he is also there but I’m not talking to him, will this cause their divorce?
2) Does indirect talk through someone such as my mother or sister constitute a divorce?
3) Is there any solution? It is haram to severe kinship, therefore is there anything we can do about this?
4) He was regretting a lot and asked an ‘Alim if he can give a solution. The ‘Alim said that he can give one divorce and then after her iddat is over, he can talk to me and starts to keep relations with me again and then take his wife back by repeating the nikah. now his wife is seven months pregnant can he give divorce close to her delivery so that the iddat period is finished right after giving birth? Is this the right solution? Also, does he have to do all the three things he said he won’t do after the iddat?
5) Does it count as me severing kinship (severing relations with him)?
6) In order to not be apart of the sin of severing relationships, am I allowed to give him gifts?
Please try to reply to all my questions as soon as possible as I’ve been looking for a solution to this problem for a very long time.
JazakAllah
Wassalaamu ‘Alaikum
الجواب وباللہ التوفیق
On the condition that the details provided in your question are accurate, as per the situation described in your question, wherever you meet him three Talaq will take effect on his wife.
Please avoid any connection through these gifts or through brother and sisters because the words of his swearing don’t permit this.
The better form of the way out is only this that he should give one Talaq to his wife, and after the passage of ‘Iddat you two brothers talk to each other, this way his swearing would be taken care of, as his wife would not remain in his Nikah, therefore, the Talaq would not take effect either, after this he can do Nikah with his wife again with new Mehr, and after Nikah you can keep all connections, conversations, and visitations etc.
And it is apparent that to live like this is to sever the relationship, this is the only way to stay away from it.
And as his wife is pregnant, therefore, if he gives Talaq during pregnancy then completion of pregnancy would be her ‘Iddat, he should give Talaq little before delivery, the ‘Iddat would complete as soon as the delivery would occur. When you would talk after that, it would complete his swearing, and they both could continue living together after re-doing the Nikah.
إذَا حَلَفَ بِثَلَاثِ تَطْلِيقَاتٍ أَنْ لَا يُكَلِّمَ فُلَانًا فَالسَّبِيلُ أَنْ يُطَلِّقَهَا وَاحِدَةً بَائِنَةً وَيَدَعَهَا حتى تَنْقَضِيَ عِدَّتُهَا ثُمَّ يُكَلِّمَ فُلَانًا ثُمَّ يَتَزَوَّجَهَا كَذَا في السِّرَاجِيَّةِ(الہندیۃ:۶/۳۹۷)
واللہ اعلم بالصواب