Q: Allah created both men and women differently such that a woman does not naturally feel to have more than one spouse at a time.
1. My question is that if it was in the nature of a male to have more than one wife as created by Allah then why are there naturally the feelings of jealousy or insecurities and intolerance that a woman feels about it? My mind and heart both know that Allahs plans are the best and I blindly trust in them but then why I feel annoyed and really bad about the fact of sharing my husband with someone else. I even feel annoyed when my husband teases me about angels of Jannat? Why has Allah put this feeling in us knowing the natural tendency of males?
2. Though I know that there is nothing wrong in having more than one wife but I still feel uncomfortable and jealous about this fact. I would never be able to stand the fact of my husband marrying someone else. Does that mean that I am not a good believer as my husband constantly keeps saying that if I cannot tolerate the fact of my husband having another wife (suppose) then I am not a good muslimah. Is that so?
1. These questions are all irrelevant. Every person can ask such questions. Such things have been decreed, that one gets more than the other and the one who gets less doesn’t feel comfortable and feels insecure. The one who has more also feels insecure.
2. There is no problem in this. It is just that you are not used to this.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)