I am converting to Islam and am wondering: I am an illegitimate child, how does that effect the way people will treat me and will it effect my desirability as a spouse?
DETAILS:
I have often read where illegitimate children are described as a “curse” or “plague” on a country. Often times there seems to be a poor opinion of such children. Would prospective spouses/in laws be less likely to want to accept me? Who would be my “guardian” in the wedding? I have no male relatives. Also, it will be my responsibility alone to care for my mother in her old age. She will not have the means to live on without help. Can I expect a husband to contribute if she is not a Muslim? She has led a good and modest life for many years, but I do not think she will become Muslim.
Answer:
In actual fact in Islam a person’s worth is judged according to his qualities and attributes. Whoever’s actions is good, that person is a good person even though his lineage might be otherwise. Allah Ta’ala has mentioned in the Qur’an Kareem: “O mankind! Indeed We created you from a single male and a single female, and We made you into nations and tribes that you may recognise one another. Certainly the most dignified of you in the sight of Allah is the one most pious of you. Certainly Allah is All Knowing, Well Apprised.” (Surah Hujuraat, Aayat 13).
“Whoever practises righteous deeds, whether male or female, provided that, that person is on faith, We will indeed let such a person live a pleasant life, and We will indeed requite them their reward in lieu of their excellent deeds.” (Surah Nahal, Aayat 97)
“O you who believe! Let not some men scoff at other men, perhaps those men be worthier than these, and let not some women (scoff) at other women, perhaps those women be worthier than these; and do not taunt at one another, nor provoke each other by (offensive) nicknames. (For oneself to be stigmatised by) a wicked name after bringing faith is ill seeming. And whosoever does not turn in repentance (and desist), well it is they who are the unjust.” (Surah Hujurat, Aayat 11)
Illegitimate children are generally thought bad of so that people will abstain from Zinaa for this reason that people will fear that due to their committing Zinaa, their children from this act will not have any honour amongst the people. Also the upbringing and tarbiyyat of the child is not very good therefore bad qualities enter into the child. But if a child is illegitimate it is no fault or shortcoming on its part. If this child brings good qualities into itself and also benefits the public then this child deserves to be honoured. Now if any person taunts and talks bad of this child, due to it not having a lineage, this person is in actual fact wrong and also sinful. If this child exercises patience it will receive reward on the Day of Judgement. So you should not worry and should hasten towards accepting Islam. After accepting Islam if anyone ones to get married to you or you pick anyone to marry then you should tell that person the truth. If after knowing the truth the Nikah takes place, but after the Nikah, due to your being without a lineage, he thinks lowly of you then he is wrong and sinful. Everybody in this world are not the same, in everyone is some shortcoming or weakness therefore you should not delay in accepting Islam, which is a great blessing, due to an unknown worry. After accepting Islam you should help your non-Muslim mother and also have good relations with her. If the house belongs to you and your husband will want to live there with you then you should also keep your mother in the same house with you. If you are going to live at your future husband’s place then you should make proper arrangements with him regarding your mother.
(“Al Fataawaa Al-Hindiyah”, Vol. 5, Page 347/348)
And Allah knows best,
Mufti Muhammad Ashraf
Darul Iftaa
Jameah Mahmoodiyah
04/04/03