Answered by: Maulana Mohammed Dilwar Hussain
I married a woman, 11 years back. she was a non-muslim and accepted Islam with my marriage. At the time of marriage, she was a widow with two children one girl is of eight years and a boy of 4 years, by her non-muslim husband.
I accepted both kids and after 11 years of our successful marriage the 8 years old girl grew up and now she is 20 years old. But the problem is whenever I hug her as a father, or at times I touch her, although I have no intention of lust I feel an erection in my genitals. Firstly I thought it is waswasa from shaitan, but now and then whenever I talk to her or touch her, even if she is in headache or in fever and I touch her forehead or her hand to check the fever, I feel the same erection in genitals. I am very depressed by this act, whether my wife is halal for me now or not? I so much love my wife and she also loves me. If by any way I leave her I fear she will commit suicide or may lose her iman and turn towards previous life of shirk. Please help me and give me an answer by thinking hundreds of times as many lives may be spoiled. I really shameful abt my mindset.
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Lust has been defined as;
⦁ If an erection occurs in a male when physical contact is made. If erection increases when erection had already occurred prior to physical contact.
⦁ If erection does not occur in a male due to health reasons/old age, then if lust/desire occurs in the male’s heart at the time of physical contact. If lust/desire was present prior o physical contact and it increases when physical contact is made.
⦁ If lust/desire occurs in a female’s heart when physical contact is made and it was not present prior to physical contact. If lust/desire was present prior to physical contact then it increases when physical contact is made.
⦁ It is not necessary that both persons experience lust when physical contact is made. Lust in either the male or the female will be sufficient for Hurmat ul Musaharah to apply. [Hurmat ul Musaharah; page 30]
The ruling which has been defined here, “if there is lust in either the mature male or mature female when they make physical contact (touching, kissing, etc) with no material/cloth between them or there is material/cloth but it is so thin that body heat can be felt through it”.
If this is the case then Hurmat al Masaharah has occurred and you will, unfortunately, need to immediately separate from your wife and give her Talaq.
Only Allah knows best.
Written by Maulana Mohammed Dilwar Hussain
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham