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How to deal with a difficult wife

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by DarulIftaBirmingham

Answered by: Maulana Maruf Ahmed


Dear Sir, I am married from last 4 years and have NO Kids. My wife is from a Big city and She always has a will to settle at her home city, but I was not ready. In 3rd year of marriage, she manage to take me to her home-parental city to settle . But then , she use to avoid me , spend times with her friends and relative only not with me. She use to roaming here and there like any college girl and avoids me.. Nor she cook food for me , nor she sleep nor even talk for an hours in a day to me & she use to insult me , directly – indirectly.NOT LISTENING TO ME IN SUPPORTS OF HER FAMILY – JUST AVOIDING ME , WHICH KEEPS ME HURTING & SURPRISING… So I decide to come back to my native place city and she refuse then … she didn’t come till date & from last 13-14 month I am waiting for her to come back . Intentionally She is not talking to me nor coming to my home s…..…..in an wish that she will not live with me at my parental house and forcing me settle at her maternal city, where i am not comfortable my whole family tried to talk her and ask her to come back … We have put an middle man to solve the issue and make them talk…but no result , whereas…… On the other-side her family starts creating Negative scene against me…. and her brother keep asking that middle man that we will file fake case of Dowry & domestic violence ..etc Till now i did not want to give her divorce but No response is coming from her & her family members — we are totally BLANK from last 13-14 month , how to go about. Now we offer them , if she want an end-ship, she should give me divorce from her side , I am not give from my side to avoid to bear the legal consequences But Nor she is coming back and nor giving me Divorce !! How to Go about safer Solution , ……….. Pls advice what to do in this situation… What is a FATWA advice for men like me : to get rid and free me from this lady and save my life.


Firstly, may Allah reward you for you for your patience.

We strongly advise you and your wife to seek professional counselling if you have genuine hope of remaining married to her. It is important to try to determine the root of the problem and the primary cause of her behaviour.

If after exhausting all avenues you see that the problem has not been resolved, and the situation is very unlikely to improve, then it may be best for you to end your relationship with her.

Only Allah knows best.

Maulana Maruf Ahmed

Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah

Darul Ifta Birmingham

This answer was collected from DarulIftaBirmingham.co.uk, which is run under the supervision of Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah from the United Kingdom.

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