I’m a medical student in Sialkot, Pakistan. My clasamate and I are interested in each other and want to get married but as the Pakistan culture is to get married after the guy has a job and good career therefore we cant be married until 2 or 3 years. My question is that if we do Nikah secretly from our parents and friends, would it be a sin?
We only want to do Nikah as it is inevitable for us not to talk and talkin with a Non-mehram is also a sin. We dont have any intention of getting physical. Nikah is just to stay away from the sins of talking and thinking about each other and also meeting occasionally until finally he gets a job and can send his proposal in the cultured way. Please tell me, would it be a sin if we hide from our parents or would it be a sin of deceiving our parents? Should we do it or not?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
It is evident from your question that you understand that a secret marriage is inappropriate and will obviously be frowned upon. Your associates, friends, etc. will see you interacting with the person in reference and will question your chastity. You will also feel uncomfortable staying in constant secrecy. Furthermore, such matters become exposed very quickly and will cause friction and ill feelings between both the families. Securing the trust of your in-laws is imperative for a healthy marital life in future.
If you haven’t discussed your concerns with your parents, we advise you to communicate with them in a mature manner. You should be transparent and open about your situation, and express your concern of falling into a greater sin. It is also advisable to contact your local scholar(s) or a respectable member in the community to convince your family to have the Nikah done at an earlier date, and postpone the rukhsati to a later time.
Make du‘a to Allah and adopt taqwa in every aspect of your life.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.