My mum has ordered me to divorce my wife because according to her:
1. her daughter-in-law has possesed me that my wife doesnt take care of my
siblings well.
2. she doesnt like cooking for me and that.
3. she and her parents do not respect her.
My mum does not want to engage my wife parents for reconciliation
Last two weeks she asked me to come down home(because I live in a
different state)with my wife to sort out things, on reaching home, she
brought up the issue of divorce which I opposed.
My Mum consulted one Islamic Scholar complaining that I refused to divorce my wife on her instruction. Her believe and according to what some people have told her that my wife’s parents do witchcraft. That my wife has performed sihr on me, I do only what she and mum want me to do.
The scholar asked my mum to give me a medicine with a view of curing the sihr. The medicine is: one liter of fresh cow milk mixed with honey which I took in the morning, afternoon and evening without eating anything.
The following day I spoke with the scholar and asked me what color is the stool I passed after taking the medicine and I told him is yellow. He said that is a sign of sihr performed on me. That my wife likes wordly things. He said I should used my sense and follow my mother’s instruction.
Ya Sheikh, please advice me because I dont want to divorce my wife.
She now said the only ‘afuwan’ she can give me is to leave my wife
behind in her family house to let her suffer like for two months with a
view of her correcting her attutude and to bring her parents down to
their level, even though i dont like it but have to succumb considering
the way I fought to avoid the divorce.
I have left my wife behind now with my 1 year old daughter at her family
house.I am not happy now and I know my Mother will oppose me to recall
my wife and daughter to rejoin me for now. She also asked me not to give
her money, that if I give her money without her consent she wont forgive
me. but I need to give my wife money considering the situation she found
herself and she is even One month old pregnant. She is from poor family
background.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We take note of your predicament, may Allah Ta’ala alleviate you from your predicament. Aameen.
You have given three reasons why your mother wants you to divorce your wife. All those reasons are not justifiable in Shar’iah to divorce your wife. It is not your wife’s responsibility to take care of your siblings. Not liking to cook is also not a reason for divorce. Likewise, your wife and her parents not respecting your mother is also no reason to divorce your wife. Accordingly, if you divorce your wife, it will be an act of zulm and oppression which is haram. It is not permissible to obey your parents to fulfil a haram. Rasulullah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) is reported to have said:
لاَ طَاعَةَ فِي مَعْصِيَةٍ، إِنَّمَا الطَّاعَةُ فِي المَعْرُوفِ
Translation: Verily submission is in acts of goodness and not in committing wrongdoing.[1]
The attitude of the ‘Aalim and his conclusion on sihr is most unfortunate. The stool being yellow does not necessarily mean you are a victim of sihr. It could be the effect of the honey you drank for which the ‘Aalim should be held responsible.
Your mother’s advice not to give your wife money is against Shar’iah. You are responsible to support and maintain your wife and child. Your wife needs your moral support now more than before considering the fact that she is pregnant with your second child. You should bring her home immediately.
We advise you to adopt a diplomatic approach towards your mother and confide in your wife to make adjustments in her attitude for your own peace and comfort. Every successful marriage comes with some sacrifices and adjustments.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Fahad Abdul Wahab
Student Darul Iftaa
USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
[1] بخاري. رقم الحديث ٧٢٥٧ . دار البشائر الاسلامية