Aslam-u-Alyqum Me and my wife are expecting our first child to be born in the month of ….. inshallah. I’m very excited to be a father as we have been waiting to have a child due to my wifes health as she has got diabetes. however I do have a couple general questions that I seek the answers for. 1. When the child is born, inshallah, my wife has stated that she will be going to her mums house for a few weeks. I have granted permission for her to eventually go but do not want her to leave my house as soon as the baby is born as I want to spend time with my child. Also I do not want her going for 10 weeks to her mums, but she states its tradition for a girl to go to her mums after birth. Is this true? What rights do I have? Her mum has told her to come over without asking my permission and I feel under pressure to say she could go but am not happy about it. 2. Can you recommend any books / websites to advise what the husbands role is in regards to child birth and what responsibilities that carries ie doing azan in new borns ears. 3. Any duas for a healthy child? Jazakallah.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We make Dua Allah grant you a healthy child and make the child the coolness of your eyes. Aameen.
We understand this is your first child and you are excited. It is important to know that the first pregnancy and child birth have to be handled carefully especially in your case as your wife is diabetic. The last stages of her pregnancy could cause a health risk to her as well as your child. Your wife is making a great sacrifice by carrying your child. There is a hormonal change in her body that affects her health and moods. While you are excited and wish to enjoy time with your child, your priority should be the health of your wife and child. If your wife is not well taken care of, that will affect her health in future and you will have to bear with that. It is advisable for her to be by her mother in the last stages of her pregnancy and some time after birth. The issue is not following tradition; rather it is for health reasons. We advise you to be tolerant to your wife and her feelings at this stage.
You may refer elsewhere on our website for related information on child birth, Aqiqah etc.
And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai