Asslama Walaikum, I am in search of a dua to help me forget a girl I have deeply desired for over 7 years now and can’t stop thinking about. I have lost my mind, my faith, my friends, and have been suicidial for a long time. I can’t sleep at night and I constantly dream about her. I feel extremely ashamed, hurt, bitter, and angry. I have gone through severe depression and find myself hating my existence. I have consulted many shaykhs regarding this matter and have not been able to find a solution to my problem. I also find that my heart has gone cold and I see all women as being prostitues. People around me get depressed and many of them have also contemplated suicide including all members of my family and close friends. Even my psychiatrist refuses to console me as I make him depressed. I used to be very pious praying 6 times a day and fasting 3 months of the year prior to meeting her.
Jazakallah for writing to the institute regarding your problems.
Brother, Allah Ta’ala did not promise us that our life will always be full of ease, comfort, joy, good health and no tests. If Allah Ta’ala’s most excellent creation, Nabi (sallallaahu alayhi wassallam) had to endure so much pain, agony, war, loss of loved ones, persecution and worse, who are we that we demand that Allah Ta’ala does not put us through tests? Only little children demand what they want when they want as they do not understand what it means not to have something when they want it. There is a great difference from wanting something and needing something. Sometimes, our wants far exceed our needs.
I would like you to help me with a problem I am having difficulty with. Since you say you have suffered a great loss, perhaps you will be able to identify with this person and give me some hope as to how I can help her.
The lady’s husband went out often to go fend for the family and sometimes came back after a few days or so without really explaining what he was doing. One night he returned and quietly lay down next to her. She was just happy to see him again after a few days. Their baby was sleeping in a crib near her. Suddenly 3 men burst into their bedroom and they started interrogating him. He wouldn’t speak so eventually they shot him through his head and his blood splattered all over her. In her shock she started screaming uncontrollably. As they were going out, two of the men stayed back, their leader left, telling them to hurry and do what they wanted with her. After they left, she was in a daze and in a state of shock. At some stage, she doesn’t know after how long, she heard her neighbours urging her to get up quickly and take her baby with as the people were coming back to burn the house down. In her shocked state, she picked up her baby and ran. She ran with her baby and some people for about 4 hours. Eventually they stopped. She decided that it was time to feed her baby. When she opened up the blanket, she let out a terrible scream. You see, in her terrible state, she didn’t realise that instead of picking up her baby, she had picked up a pillow. So in one day, she lost her husband, her home, her baby and her body which was violated by the men. Please advice me as to how I can help her. We all go through some difficult by in life. She is a brave woman. She does not blame anyone.It is just that I am at a loss as to what I could say to her to help her to mend again. Your help will be appreciated.
And Allah Ta’ala knows best.
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CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai