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Avoiding relatives that cause harm

Assalaamu alaikum.
I have been deeply hurt by the behavior of my relatives. It has affected me to a GREAT extent. I am now a patient of Acute Depression. And on medication(Highest dose and also underwent electroconvulsive therapy (ECT)  which is a kind of shock therapy to treat severe depression). If I have decided to avoid my relatives in future (like in any parties, get together. etc). would that be considered as cutting of the ties with relatives. Also my relatives never accept their mistakes. While some of them say that you should have clarified at that particular moment and not after so much time. I did not clarify because I thought that this will affect the relationship and they will realise their mistakes at some point of time. But that never happened. Looking at their current behavior, their speech and body language and I think that they will never accept their mistakes. Is it OK if I avoid them?….Also I personally think that my entire energy has now been exhausted and I have no other choice but to avoid them…I want to live and just don’t keep on struggling with no fault of mine….I cant handle it anymore….Mayusi leads to Kufr….I can’t risk my IMAAN because of such people. I have a genuine medical problem and their behavior affects me and my work (had to quit many jobs) in a GREAT way. I have incurred huge financial losses because of the issues created by such people as I was not able to focus on my work and had to ultimately quit. Please reply as soon as possible. Waiting for your reply. 


In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.

We take note of the contents of your query. We sympathize with you and make du’aa that Allaah Ta’aala grants you the courage to overcome your difficulty.

If you limit your interaction with your relatives due to your medical condition, then you will be excused[1].

And Allaah Ta’aala Knows Best.

Muajul I. Chowdhury

Student, Darul Iftaa

Astoria, New York, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.


[1]  بذل المجهود (13/319)

ومن خاف من مكالمة أحد وصلته ما يفسد عليه الدين أو يدخل مضرة في دنياه يجوز له مجانبته والبعد عنه ورب هجر حسن خير من مخالطة مؤذية 

مرقاة المفاتيح شرح مشكاة المصابيح (7/ 3079) 

وصلة الرحم كناية عن الإحسان إلى الأقربين من ذوي النسب والأصهار، والتعطف عليهم، والرفق بهم، والرعاية لأحوالهم

صحيح البخاري (8/ 6) 

5991 – حدثنا محمد بن كثير، أخبرنا سفيان، عن الأعمش، والحسن بن عمرو، وفطر، عن مجاهد، عن عبد الله بن عمرو: – قال سفيان: لم يرفعه الأعمش إلى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم، ورفعه حسن وفطر – عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: «ليس الواصل بالمكافئ، ولكن الواصل الذي إذا قطعت رحمه وصلها»

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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