Why would a sincere and religious person be punished for others’ wailing at their funeral?

Al-jawab billahi at-taufeeq (the answer with Allah’s guidance)

It is permissible to grieve for the departure of a beloved one. However, if the grief exceeds the limits and becomes a form of objection to Allah’s decree, it becomes totally prohibited.

Al Nouha or Al Niyaha (wailing) is weeping or crying that exceeds moderateness to the level of screaming, and is often associated with words of excessive praise for the deceased or objection against Allah’s decree. (Sharah Nawawi ‘Ala Sahih Muslim Vol.1 Pg.302)

Also, hitting and scratching the body and face, disheveling the hair and tearing clothes etc, are all prohobited acts of grieving.

Ibn Masud (RadhiAllahu Ta’ala Anhu) that Allah’s Messenger (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said,”He is not one of us who hits the face, tears the clothes, and makes the calls of Jahiliyyah.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

Usayd Bin Abi Usayd (RadhiAllahu Ta’ala Anhu) reported that one of the women who gave Ba’yah to the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) told him that the Prophet required from them,” You will not disobey me in any matter of righteousness, nor scratch your faces, nor wail, nor tear your clothes, nor dishevel your hair.” (Abu Dawud)

Wailing and all it’s other forms are practice of Jahiliyyah that incurs a severe punishment on the day of Qiyamah.

Would the one who is wailed over be punished in the grave and on the day of resurrection?

According to Hadhrat Umar, Abdullah Ibn Umar and Mughirah (RadhiAllahu Ta’ala Anhum) the deceased will be punished in the grave and on the day of resurrection because of the wailing of his family. (Al Mughni Vol.2 Pg.548)

Evidence:

Abdullah Ibn Umar (RadhiAllahu Ta’ala Anhu) reported that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “A dead person is punished in his grave because of his family’s crying over him. (Bukhari)

Al Mughirah Ibn Shu’bah (RadhiAllahu Ta’ala Anhu) reported that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said,”The one who is wailed over will be punished on the day of Qiyamah because of that wailing.” (Muslim)

According to Hadhrat ‘Aisha, Ibn Abbas and Abu Hurayrah (RadhiAllahu Ta’ala Anhum) the deceased will not be punished in the grave and on the day of resurrection because of the wailing. (Bukhari and Fathul Bari Vol.3 Pg.122)

Evidence:

Allah Ta’ala says,

“No bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another.” (6:164)

Conclusion: The Ulamaa have taken different positions for resoving this conflict. The correct view is that the punishment is applicable to that who requested his family and relatives to wail over him after he dies, or who knew that wailing is a common practice among his people and did not do Wasiyat to warn them against doing it.

And Only Allah Ta’ala Knows Best.

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Moulana Qamruz Zaman
London, UK