Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
There is a hadith that says whoever controls his anger Allah will allow him to choose whichever Hoor (maiden of Paradise) he likes.
I know Hoor will be only for men and I understand why. But since the reward of controlling anger is associated with Hoor who are only for men, then what about women who control their anger? Is there any reward for them? Does a woman only get Paradise with no additional reward? Why is a woman rewarded less for controlling her anger?
Does she get an extra reward or gets to choose any reward she wishes?
Answer
Thank you for your question. I implore you not to fear that your reward will not be sufficient in Paradise, for we are guaranteed that it will be, even if it be different from a man’s.
Choice of Maiden
The hadith that you mention is, “Whoever restrains his anger when he is able to implement it, Allah will call him before all of creation on the Day of Resurrection, and will give him his choice of any houri that he wants.” [Ibn Maja]
This hadith has been mentioned as a man’s reward, but it does not mean at all that a woman will be lacking in what she wants. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), told us, “Allah says: ‘I have prepared for My righteous slaves that which no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and it has never crossed the mind of man.’” [Ibn Maja]
Status
In addition to this, you should remember that women of this world will have a higher status than the maidens of Paradise. Please find solace in this hadith as one of the wives of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), questioned him about the maidens and their status:
Umm Salama (may Allah be well pleased with her) mentions that she asked the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), to explain the verse, “And (there will be) maidens with beautiful, big, and lustrous eyes.” [Quran, 56:22]. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), said, “They will be women with wide eyes having a sharp contrast between the white of the cornea and the black of the iris. They will be fair complexioned and their limbs will be free of hair like the wings of a bird.
Umm Salama, (may Allah be well pleased with her), then asked for an explanation of the verse, “They will be like concealed pearls?“ [Quran, 56:23] to which the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) explained that their purity would be like that of a pearl still inside the oyster, untouched by human hands.
She then asked for an explanation of the verse, “They will be good and fair.“ [Quran, 55:70] to which the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), replied, “Their character will be good and their faces will be fair.”
She then asked the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), to explain the verse, “Delicate and pure as if they were hidden eggs well preserved.” [Quran, 37:49] The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), said, “Their softness and delicacy would be like that of the skin you see inside the egg under the shell.”
She then asked the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), to explain the verses, “We made them virgins, loving and equal in age.“ [Quran, 56:36-37]. He explained, “They will be those women who left this world, old, grey-haired, with discolored skin. Allah will recreate them after this old age and will make them loving virgins who would be very passionate towards their husband who in turn would be madly in love with them. They would all be of the same age.”
She then asked, “O Prophet, are the women of this world superior or the hoors?“ He replied, “The women of this world will have superiority over the hoors just as the outer lining of a garment has superiority over the inner lining.
Umm Salama, (may Allah be well pleased with him), then asked, “O Messenger of Allah, what is the reason for this?” He answered, “Because they performed Salah, fasted and worshipped Allah. Allah will put light on their faces and silk on their bodies. They will be fair in complexion and will wear green clothing and yellow jewelry. Their incense-burners will be made of pearls and their combs will be of gold. They will say, ‘We are the women who will stay forever and we will never die. We are the women who will always remain in comfort and we will never die. We are the women who will always remain in comfort and we will never undergo difficulty. We are the women who will stay and we will never leave. Listen, we are happy women and we will never become sad. Glad tidings to those men for whom we are and who are for us.’
She then asked, “If a woman of this world married two, three, or four husbands [one after the other] in this world, then dies and enters Jannah with them, who will be her husband?“ The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), answered, “O Umm Salama, (may Allah be well pleased with her), she will be allowed to choose between them, so she will choose the one with the best character. She will say to Allah, ‘O Allah, this husband displayed the best character to me in the world, so marry him to me.‘ The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) further added, “O Umm Salama, good character has gained (for him) the excellence of this world and the hereafter.“ [Tabarani, vol.23, pg.367, tafseer ibn Kathir for 56:22]
Please see these links as well:
How Does the Reward of Women in Paradise Compare to the Reward of Men?
What Do Women Get in Paradise?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.