Question
What are my obligations in obeying my husband in the Shafi’i school?
Answer
Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
Dear questioner,
Thank you for your important question.
In the Shafi’i school, the bare bones of obeying one’s husband are fulfilled by not leaving the house if he forbids one, being cordial and polite if one usually disposed to be, and allowing him to sleep with one if he requests. (al-Yaqut al-Nafis, Shatiri) Included in the latter is the obligation to do things that would otherwise make relations difficult, such as removing pubic hair and keeping clean. Obeying one’s husband in other permissible requests is not an obligation in the Shafi’i school.
Before getting married — or during the marriage, if roles and responsibilities are not clear — the couple should have a clear but loving conversation about what they expect from one another and what they are able to do for their better half. Communication and clarity are far, far more effective and than throwing technical obligations at one another. Technical obligations are only for the use of the Sharia court. They are not the ingredients of a successful Muslim marriage.
Please also see:
Is it obligatory for a woman to obey her husband if he requests from her strange sexual acts?
I pray this helps.
[Ustadh] Farid
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadh Farid Dingle has completed extensive years of study in the sciences of the Arabic language and the various Islamic Sciences. During his studies, he also earned a CIFE Certificate in Islamic Finance. Over the years, he has developed a masterful ability to craft lessons that help non-Arabic speakers gain a deep understanding of the language. He currently teaches courses in the Arabic Language.