Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question: Assalamu alaykum
I like a man and wish to be his wife but the problem is that he
lives abroad and doesn’t know me. My mother knows his mother
and my mom is willing to go and talk to his mother. But I am afraid they
may reject me so I want to ask if I can do istikhara before my mom goes
there. Thank you.
Answer: Assalamu alaykum,
Ma sha Allah, sister, I want to commend you for pursuing a halal marriage with this man and for turning to Allah to help you with this decision.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “if a servant gets married, they have completed half their religion”.
I highly recommend that you go through the following two links to learn more about marriage and the prayer of seeking guidance (istikhara)
In short, it is perfectly fine, rather, praiseworthy for you and your mother to pray the prayer of seeking guidance (istikhara) before she travels.
Praying this prayer for major or minor decisions in your life is a good habit. Turning to Allah before turning to any other device is a certain way to make Allah first on your list, increasing your reliance on him. One of my teachers prays this prayer to seek guidance about how to punctuate his sentences!
May Allah give you ease, fortitude and complete submission to what may happen with this man.
Wassalam,
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterwards, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.