Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, SunniPath Academy Teacher
Living in the US, I have a hard time coming to terms with the culture here.The women here wear unIslamic clothing (deep necks,scanty clothing).
My husband’s nature is to speak freely with all whether men or women and of very jovial nature.
My blood burns when I see him speaking freely with these nasty women. I had several arguments with him, leading to a strained relationship.
Otherwise he loves me dearly and is loyal to me. How should I reconcile to my environment? I feel depressed most of the time and cannot concentrate on anything including Salah.
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Praise be to Allah.
May Allah’s peace and blessings shower upon our beloved Messenger.
I pray this message finds you in good health and spirits.
Here’s something I want to emphasize to you:
You said, and I quote, “Otherwise he loves me dearly and is loyal to me. “
Alhamdulillah! This is all you could ask for in a Muslim husband. As long as he is pious, aware of Allah at all times, and truly devoted to you, then you have nothing to worry about.
Yes, the way the women dress is very disturbing. But you must remember that these women do not have divine guidance. There is really no such concept as modesty in this society. But don’t think of all non-Muslim women as “nasty.” Many of these same scantily-clad women, through Allah’s mercy, may one day come to Islam. I know sisters who are the most modest, sincere Muslimahs today, who just yesterday were running around barely dressed!
Please don’t be depressed. We women do have a tendency to get jealous; however, this isn’t a very effective strategy. What you can do is communicate your concern in a positive way to your husband. Tell him how you really love his jovial personality, but could he exercise more caution in his interactions with the opposite sex. Gently remind him of the Qur’anic injunctions about lowering one’s gaze.
Most importantly, be positive. Your husband has a beautiful Muslim wife. Let him know that. Alhamdulillah, we stand out from the crowd. Embrace that by being the best example of a Muslimah you can be.
My teacher once told me, “Bloom where you are planted.” What this means is that we should strive to flourish no matter where Allah Most High has placed us on this earth. America offers many opportunities to Muslims: we can give da’wah, attend university and work with our hijab on, help those less fortunate, and become active in our own Muslim communities and in the larger society.
When you see these women, don’t resent them. Feel confident that your husband loves you. Give them a smile, treat them with kindness, and show them a positive example of Muslim womanhood.
May Allah Most High bless you and your husband.
And Allah knows best.