Question
Once my parent was angry and was backbiting about hairdressers. I couldn’t just leave as the parent was angry and I feared getting into trouble. My parents said something about the hairdresser four times and I sniggered although trying very hard not to laugh and biting my lip. I did NOT agree with the backbiting for doing a bad job of our hair and I did not like it but I couldn’t stop the snigger. In the past, warning parents about the sin hasn’t gone well. This happened before too. Is this sinful?
Answer
Assalamu alaykum,
Thank you for your question.
Ma sha Allah, I commend you for wanting to follow the rules of backbiting and for trying to do the right thing. May Allah facilitate that for you.
Advising parents
Stopping parents from backbiting is one of the most difficult tasks that a person can face. Some parents don’t understand the ruling in Islam and they see backbiting as a normal fact of life. They take any reprimanding from their children as rude, disrespectful, and haughty. I don’t suggest that you attempt to correct them, but use tact and wisdom and steering them away from such talk. Eventually, they must learn about the enormities of the tongue and learn that it is a sin.
Laughing
I’m not sure what was so funny about listening to your parent’s backbiting, but your laughing was not sinful. Try your best, instead of sniggering, to make an excuse, go to the bathroom, change the topic, speak of the hairdresser’s good points, or turn the situation around and give your parent advice. Tell them to try another hairdresser next time, or to show an image of the cut that you like, or to communicate better with the current hairdresser on what to do and what not to do. Also, consider going back to him and having him fix the haircut. See this link as well:
What Constitutes as Slander, Backbiting and How to Avoid It?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.