Question Summary
What are some Sunna etiquettes for the first night after marriage? Are there any supplications to be recited before intimacy?
Question Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
The following etiquettes taken from the Prophetic guidance should be upheld on the first night:
(1) Righteous Intentions
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “All actions are based on their intentions.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
He also said, “Three people Allah has promised to assist: the one striving in the path of Allah, the endangered servant who intends to fulfill their contract, and the one who marries intending chastity.” [Tirmidhi]
Other righteous intentions include having children who will be raised in the obedience of Allah.
(2) The Prophetic Supplication
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “When any of you marries a woman ….., then let them say,
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ خَيْرَهَا وَخَيْرَ مَا جَبَلْتَهَا عَلَيْهِ، وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّهَا وَمِنْ شَرِّ مَا جَبَلْتَهَا عَلَيْهِ
‘O Allah, I ask you of the good of her and the good of nature upon which you created her, and I seek refuge in You from the evil or her and the evil of nature upon which you created her.’”
In other narrations, Abu Sa’id added the following, “Then place your hand on her forehead and pray for blessing for the wife.” [Sunan Abi Dawud]
(3) Prayer
It is amongst the etiquettes for the newlyweds to prayer two units of prayer together.
(4) Supplication before Intercourse
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “If one of you, when intending to approach their spouse, said,
بِسْمِ اللَّهِ، اللَّهُمَّ جَنِّبْنَا الشَّيْطَانَ وَجَنِّبِ الشَّيْطَانَ مَا رَزَقْتَنَا
‘In the Name of Allah. O Allah, drive the Shaytan away from us. And drive Shaytan away from what You’ve provided us.’
Thereafter, if it is decreed that there should be a child between them, Shaytan will never cause it harm.” [Abu Dawud]
(5) Intercourse
Some of the Righteous scholars added the following to be recited (in the heart) by the husband at the time of ejaculation:
وَهُوَ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَ مِنَ ٱلْمَآءِ بَشَرًۭا فَجَعَلَهُۥ نَسَبًۭا وَصِهْرًۭا ۗ وَكَانَ رَبُّكَ قَدِيرًۭا
“And He is the One Who creates human beings from a ˹humble˺ liquid,1 then establishes for them bonds of kinship and marriage. For your, Lord is Most Capable.” [Qur’an; 25:54]
If one intends intercourse a second time, it is Sunna to perform ablution (wudu) beforehand.
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “If any of you approaches their spouse then intends to return (i.e., repeat), let them perform their wudu like that done for prayer.” [Muslim]
Closing:
These are some of the Prophetic etiquettes relating to the first night of marriage. It is important that both the husband and wife approach each other in a way that both are comfortable with and with the spirit of mutual respect and understanding.
Even with the above, it is most important to understand the overall Sunnas of mercy, compassion, and sincere concern for the well-being of all. If these core Sunnas are applied throughout the marriage (not only on the first night), the marriage is sure to be successful.
Hope this helps
Allah knows best
[Shaykh]Yusuf Weltch
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani