Answered by Ustadh Yusuf Weltch
Question: I made a supplication to Allah out of anger that He give someone a painful death and remove their faith at the time of death. Does this make me a disbeliever?
Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
We praise Allah Most High that you have repented from your mistake.
The supplication that you made does not take you out of the fold of Islam and is not considered apostasy. You saying the testification of faith (shahada) was, however, a cautious thing to do and does not need witnesses.
The true believer is one who holds goodwill to all of the creation. No matter how bad one may mistreat us we must not allow that to cause us to disobey Allah. Rather, we dislike the sin and have concern for the well-being of the sinner.
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The Religion is sincere well-wishing.” [Bukhari]
Part of your complete repentance and expiation for the sin would be to pray to Allah for that person and striving to have a sincere concern for them and the rest of creation.
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The merciful people (are those on whom), the Most Merciful will have mercy. Have mercy on the people of the earth, and those in the heavens will have mercy on you.” [Abu Dawud]
May Allah have mercy on us all
Allahu A’alam
[Ustadh] Yusuf Weltch
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a graduate from Tarim; a student of Habib Umar and other luminaries; and authorized teachers of the Qur’an and the Islamic sciences.