Q: In the past I had some disputes with my wife. Alhamdulillah things are better now. However, sometimes I have waswasa if divorce may be occurred.
I have several questions but biggest one I will ask now others maybe later. One such instance is as follows that I would like to ask. We had been separated for several months. There was a meeting with some elders about our marriage and it was decided to give us 1 month more to sort things out to get back together. At the end of this meeting, I said something to one of the elders like “okay so we have 1 month to work things out, if things work out she will be back within 1 month and if not then…” and I basically stopped and there was non-verbal expressions. I did not mention “divorce” in that sentence and neither do I believe that was my intention. However, I did sort of in a way imply divorce and afterwards I mentioned to others as well that “we have a 1 month time limit to work things out”.
We got back together but a couple of weeks past 1 month. After 1 month passed, I started getting waswasa that maybe I had stated a conditional divorce which I did not realize earlier.
I do believe although I was implying that things will not work out if it goes past one month, I did not intend it to be a conditional divorce upon one month but rather that a decision of divorce would have to be made (so basically I was saying something like so we have 1 month to make a decision).
I don’t believe my understanding was that divorce would take place automatically after 1 month, but rather that a decision would have to be made. After 1 month but before we got back together, as part of a conversation I also said something to my wife like “We had 1 month time limit, if things worked out you would be back if not we would be ending it” or something similar like “if not things would be over”.
I just want to know if this was conditional divorce. Again I did not use the word of divorce and I don’t believe it was my intention.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)