Answered by Shaykh Mazhar Mahmood
My daughter was involved in a premarital relationship with a close family friend’s son. I really admire the boy’s services to Islām and his passion for it, but I didn’t like the manner in which he approached my daughter, hence I wish to get her married elsewhere. Please provide some guidance regarding the matter.
To begin with, I pray to Allāh Almighty to ease the matter for you, your family and anyone involved. Āmīn!
It would deem beneficial to refer back to the guidance Allāh’s Messenger (peace and blessings upon him) rendered in cases like these.
On the authority of ‘Abdullāh ibn ‘Abbās (may Allāh be pleased with him), Allāh’s Messenger (peace and blessings upon him) said: “There is nothing found to be more befitting for two lovers the likes of Nikāh (marriage).” [Ibn Mājah]
Part of what is understood from the aforementioned hadīth is, if a couple are in love, but are involved in a premarital relationship, they should be wedded to one another, rather than involving a third person to the ratio by posing reasons such as ‘negativity in the manner of approach’.
Many a times, getting a third person involved in one’s love life reckons to be detrimental long-term, especially when the heart is not in love with the third person.
Adhering to the words of Allāh’s Messenger (peace and blessings upon him) will definitely make the lives of many individuals much easier and at peace.
In one hadīth narrated by Abū Hurairah (may Allāh be pleased with him), Allāh’s Messenger (peace and blessings upon him) said: “If someone approaches you with whose religion and character you’re satisfied, then get him married (to your daughter). Otherwise, immorality and corruption will prevail around the world. He repeated the same sentiments thrice (to emphasize the importance his point).” (Sunan al-Tirmizī)
When a person is content upon the character and religious practices of another (with regards to the marriage of his child), then aspects which could be forgiven by Allāh shouldn’t be taken as barriers to prevent something pure and bountiful such as Nikāh from happening.
Allāh Almighty Knows Best!