Question:
Assalamualaikum
I would like to no if my actions would be permissible.
I have a fiancé we Astaghfirullah have been going out for 3 years. This year I changed my life and she did the same. My family then went to propose and they accepted.
The 2 of us still see each other and my desire to be with her intimately and in every part of my life is Boiling over. I cant take it anymore and she too cant resist we want to be together. We have the money and all is in place. Just that her grand parents whom she lives with want to wait until next year March because they don’t want a small thing they want it to be big and want to invite lots of people and all that.
I have spoken to them personally and told them that I cant wait and they said that I must and I then just gave up and said I will wait. My family has no objections and my dad said that even if I get married today he will stand by me.
Her family is the problem they want us to wait and I am afraid that we going to commit Zina as I want to take her out and hold her hand and speak to her and be with her.
My question is can we get married secretly with witnesses and all but not telling our families and then in March when her family wants to make the Nikah we have ANOTHER ceremony will this be permissible? my fiancé says that it will be as if we are making a mockery of the whole thing.
We have spoken and we both have decided that this weekend secretly we want to make Nikah.
What should I do?
Shukran
Wassalaam
Answer:
If the girl’s parents or guardians have agreed to your marrying their daughter and you fear that with undue delay the two of you will commit Zina (fornication), then the Nikah should be properly performed without informing her family if you think that by informing them it will cause Fitnah (discord).
Before performing the Nikah without their consent try to get a respected person from the community or an Aalim to reason with her grandparents and to explain to them the fears that the two of you have if they unnecessarily delay the Nikah. If they still refuse to perform the Nikah then do so without their consent
And Allah Ta’ala knows best
Mufti Muhammad Ashraf
Darul Iftaa
Jameah Mahmoodiyah
Springs
04 December 2004
21 Shawwal 1425