Question:
My mom is 77 years old and has paranoia symptoms that’s worsening overtime. She’s always thinking and believing that people are out to get her or taking her stuff to the point of sometimes accusing close family members being involved in these hallucinated conspiracies. She also lost most of her friends because of this behaviour. We (her daughters) all try to talk her out of these accusations but she gets worse. She’s very religious and always reading Quran and performs all her prayers including sunnah and night prayers.
I would like to know if her mental condition would affect her relationship with Allah and if she will be judged and lose some of her good deeds because of her wrong actions/accusations towards family and people in general.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ʿalaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Your question is regarding actions and accusations stemming from paranoia and delusions. This question can also be expanded to apply to mental illnesses, in general, when the cause is involuntary. First, as a caretaker, you should understand that people with these symptoms are often trying to make sense of a world that is confusing to them. This causes a tremendous amount of confusion, anxiety, and stress for them. Because of a loss of memory or other cognitive function, they may feel something is out of place. To them, a logical explanation may be that another person is the cause of it. This can stem from medicine side-effects, strokes, or dementia. If your mother did not suffer from such thoughts when she was younger, a thorough medical evaluation is necessary. If from a medical cause, these symptoms are often difficult to treat.
In the meantime, people around her should not take her actions and accusations to heart. Rather, recall how Allah reminds us that she took care of you when you were young, and how you should treat her when she is old:
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ إِحْسَانًا ۖ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ كُرْهًا وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًا ۖ وَحَمْلُهُ وَفِصَالُهُ ثَلَاثُونَ شَهْرًا
We have enjoined upon man to do good to his parents. His mother carried him with difficulty and delivered him with difficulty. And his carrying and his weaning was for thirty months. (Surah al-Ahqaf 15)
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا
Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and (that you) do good to parents. If any one of them or both reach old age, do not say to them: uff (a word or expression of anger or contempt) and do not scold them, and address them with respectful words. (Surah al-Isrā’ 23)
Take the example of Sayyidunā Ibrāhīm, when despite his parents opposition to him and his da`wah, he made du`ā for them:
رَبَّنَا ٱغۡفِرۡ لِی وَلِوَ ٰلِدَیَّ وَلِلۡمُؤۡمِنِینَ یَوۡمَ یَقُومُ ٱلۡحِسَابُ
“Our Lord, forgive me, my parents, and the Believers on the Day of Judgement.” (Surah Ibrāhīm 41)
Also recall the warning of our beloved Prophet ﷺ, “He is not one of us who doesn’t have mercy for our young and doesn’t honor our elders.”[i]
Indeed, your mother is in a difficult mental state which causes difficulty to those around her. For every difficulty she and they bear patiently for Allah’s sake, He will reward them and forgive their sins.
Second, Allah does not hold people responsible for what is involuntary and out of their control. He says:
لَا یُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفۡسًا إِلَّا وُسۡعَهَاۚ
Allah does not obligate anyone beyond his capacity. (Surah al-Baqarah)
In other words, a person is not held responsible for more than they are capable. Based on this, prepubescent children, the insane, and some with mental disabilities are not held responsible to Islamic injunctions. Additionally, women, the sick, and the excused (al-ma`dhūr) are forgiven from some injunctions. There are also dispensations during sleep, intoxication, forgetfulness, and mistakes.[ii] Similarly, if your mother’s condition is an involuntary result of paranoia stemming from a medical or psychiatric condition, then, in shā Allāh, she is excused.[iii] However, continue to remind her about patience and good manners in the kindest way.
Alhamdulillah, she finds consolation in Allah and His Qur’an. This is a great blessing for her and a source of khayr. Whatever the cause of her thinking, she should be encouraged to read about detachment from the dunya and connecting with Allah. You will find an excellent chapter on zuhd in the book of Charity (ṣadaqāt) in Faḍā’il -e- A`māl. This will help relieve her of some of the anxiety associated with people and the dunya and help comfort her in the reality that Allah is always with us. When she realizes Allah, the All-Powerful and All-Wise, is always with her and in control of her matters, she will find comfort in every occurrence and leave that which doesn’t concern her. Additionally, the Prophet ﷺ advised us, “From the beauty of a man’s Islam is his leaving what doesn’t concern him.”[iv]
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Faisal bin Abdul Hameed al-Mahmudi (S1)
[i] سنن الترمذي ١٩١٩
[عن أنس بن مالك:] جاء شيخٌ يريدُ النَّبيَّ ﷺ فأبطأَ القومُ عنهُ أن يوسِّعوا له فقال ﷺ ليسَ منّا مَن لم يَرحَم صغيرَنا ولم يوقِّر كَبيرَنا
[ii] قاموس الفقہ، زمزم پبلشرز، ج ۲، ص ۵۲۴
[iii] البحر الرائق شرح كنز الدقائق، دار الكتاب الإسلامي، ج1 ص 41
وَأَمَّا الْجُنُونُ فَهُوَ زَوَالُ الْعَقْلِ وَنَقْضُهُ ظَاهِرٌ بِاعْتِبَارِ عَدَمِ مُبَالَاتِهِ وَتَمْيِيزِ الْحَدَثِ مِنْ غَيْرِهِ وَعَلَّلَهُ بَعْضُ الْمَشَايِخِ بِغَلَبَةِ الِاسْتِرْخَاءِ وَرُدَّ بِأَنَّ الْمَجْنُونَ قَدْ يَكُونُ أَقْوَى مِنْ الصَّحِيحِ فَالْأَوْلَى مَا قُلْنَاهُ كَذَا فِي الْعِنَايَةِ، وَأَمَّا الْعَتَهُ فَلَمْ أَرَ مَنْ ذَكَرَهُ مِنْ النَّوَاقِضِ وَلَا بُدَّ مِنْ بَيَانِ حَقِيقَتِهِ وَحُكْمِهِ.
أَمَّا الْأَوَّلُ فَهُوَ آفَةٌ تُوجِبُ الِاخْتِلَالَ بِالْعَقْلِ بِحَيْثُ يَصِيرُ مُخْتَلِطَ الْكَلَامِ فَاسِدَ التَّدْبِيرِ؛ لِأَنَّهُ لَا يُضْرِبُ وَلَا يُشْتَمُ، وَأَمَّا الثَّانِي فَقَدْ اُخْتُلِفَ فِيهِ عَلَى ثَلَاثَةِ أَقْوَالٍ: فَفِي أُصُولِ فَخْرِ الْإِسْلَامِ وَشَمْسِ الْأَئِمَّةِ وَالْمَنَارِ وَالْمُغْنِي وَالتَّوْضِيحِ أَنَّهُ كَالصَّبِيِّ مَعَ الْعَقْلِ فِي كُلِّ الْأَحْكَامِ فَيُوضَعُ عَنْهُ الْخِطَابُ وَفِي التَّقْوِيمِ لِأَبِي زَيْدٍ الدَّبُوسِيِّ أَنَّ حُكْمَهُ حُكْمُ الصَّبِيِّ مَعَ الْعَقْلِ إلَّا فِي الْعِبَادَاتِ فَإِنَّا لَمْ نُسْقِطْ عَنْهُ الْوُجُوبَ بِهِ احْتِيَاطًا فِي وَقْتِ الْخِطَابِ وَرَدَّهُ صَدْرُ الْإِسْلَامِ أَبُو الْيُسْرِ بِأَنَّهُ نَوْعُ جُنُونٍ فَمَنَعَ الْوُجُوبَ؛ لِأَنَّهُ لَا يَقِفُ عَلَى الْعَوَاقِبِ وَفِي أُصُولِ الْبُسْتِيِّ أَنَّ الْمَعْتُوهَ لَيْسَ بِمُكَلَّفٍ بِأَدَاءِ الْعِبَادَاتِ كَالصَّبِيِّ الْعَاقِلِ إلَّا أَنَّهُ إذَا زَالَ الْعَتَهُ تَوَجَّهَ عَلَيْهِ الْخِطَابُ بِالْأَدَاءِ حَالًا وَبِقَضَاءِ مَا مَضَى إذَا لَمْ يَكُنْ فِيهِ حَرَجٌ كَالْقَلِيلِ فَقَدْ صَرَّحَ بِأَنَّهُ يَقْضِي الْقَلِيلَ دُونَ الْكَثِيرِ وَإِنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ مُخَاطَبًا فِيمَا قَبْلُ كَالنَّائِمِ وَالْمُغْمَى عَلَيْهِ دُونَ الصَّبِيِّ إذَا بَلَغَ، وَهُوَ أَقْرَبُ إلَى التَّحْقِيقِ كَذَا فِي شَرْحِ الْمُغْنِي لِلْهِنْدِيِّ وَظَاهِرُكَلَامِ الْكُلِّ الِاتِّفَاقُ عَلَى صِحَّةِ أَدَائِهِ الْعِبَادَاتِ أَمَّا مَنْ جَعَلَهُ مُكَلَّفًا بِهَا فَظَاهِرٌ، وَكَذَا مَنْ لَمْ يَجْعَلْهُ مُكَلَّفًا؛ لِأَنَّهُ جَعَلَهُ كَالصَّبِيِّ الْعَاقِلِ، وَقَدْ صَرَّحُوا بِصِحَّةِ عِبَادَاتِهِ فَيُفْهَمُ مِنْهُ أَنَّ الْعَتَهَ لَا يَنْقُضُ الْوُضُوءَ وَاَللَّهُ سُبْحَانَهُ الْمُوَفِّقُ.
رد المحتار على الدر المختار، دار الفكر
لَكِنْ يَرِدُ عَلَيْهِ أَنَّا لَمْ نَعْتَبِرْ أَقْوَالَ الْمَعْتُوهِ مَعَ أَنَّهُ لَا يَلْزَمُ فِيهِ أَنْ يَصِلَ إلَى حَالَةٍ لَا يَعْلَمُ فِيهَا مَا يَقُولُ وَلَا يُرِيدُهُ وَقَدْ يُجَابُ بِأَنَّ الْمَعْتُوهَ لَمَّا كَانَ مُسْتَمِرًّا عَلَى حَالَةٍ وَاحِدَةٍ يُمْكِنُ ضَبْطُهَا اُعْتُبِرَتْ فِيهِ وَاكْتُفِيَ فِيهِ بِمُجَرَّدِ نَقْصِ الْعَقْلِ… وَكَذَا يُقَالُ فِيمَنْ اخْتَلَّ عَقْلُهُ لِكِبَرٍ أَوْ لِمَرَضٍ أَوْ لِمُصِيبَةٍ فَاجَأَتْهُ: فَمَا دَامَ فِي حَالِ غَلَبَةِ الْخَلَلِ فِي الْأَقْوَالِ وَالْأَفْعَالِ لَا تُعْتَبَرُ أَقْوَالُهُ وَإِنْ كَانَ يَعْلَمُهَا وَيُرِيدُهَا لِأَنَّ هَذِهِ الْمَعْرِفَةَ وَالْإِرَادَةَ غَيْرُ مُعْتَبَرَةٍ لِعَدَمِ حُصُولِهَا عَنْ الْإِدْرَاكِ صَحِيحٌ كَمَا لَا تُعْتَبَرُ مِنْ الصَّبِيِّ الْعَاقِلِ (ج 3، ص 244)
((وَشَرَائِطُ صِحَّتِهَا الْعَقْلُ) وَالصَّحْوُ (وَالطَّوْعُ) فَلَا تَصِحُّ رِدَّةُ مَجْنُونٍ، وَمَعْتُوهٍ وَمُوَسْوِسٍ، وَصَبِيٍّ لَا يَعْقِلُ)) (قَوْلُهُ وَمَعْتُوهٍ) عَزَاهُ فِي النَّهْرِ إلَى السِّرَاجِ، وَهُوَ النَّاقِصُ الْعَقْلِ وَقِيلَ الْمَدْهُوشُ مِنْ غَيْرِ جُنُونٍ كَذَا فِي الْمُغْرِبِ، وَفِي إحْكَامَاتِ الْأَشْبَاهِ أَنَّ حُكْمَهُ حُكْمُ الصَّبِيِّ الْعَاقِلِ فَتَصِحُّ الْعِبَادَاتُ مِنْهُ وَلَا تَجِبُ، وَقِيلَ: هُوَ كَالْمَجْنُونِ وَقِيلَ كَالْبَالِغِ الْعَاقِلِ. اهـ. قُلْت: وَالْأَوَّلُ هُوَ الَّذِي صَرَّحَ بِهِ الْأُصُولِيُّونَ وَمُقْتَضَاهُ أَنْ تَصِحَّ رِدَّتُهُ لَكِنَّهُ لَا يُقْتَلُ كَمَا هُوَ حُكْمُ الصَّبِيِّ الْعَاقِلِ تَأَمَّلْ. ثُمَّ رَأَيْت فِي الْخَانِيَّةِ قَالَ: وَأَمَّا رِدَّةُ الْمَعْتُوهِ فَلَمْ تُذْكَرْ فِي الْكُتُبِ الْمَعْرُوفَةِ قَالَ مَشَايِخُنَا هُوَ فِي حُكْمِ الرِّدَّةِ بِمَنْزِلَةِ الصَّبِيِّ. اهـ. (ج 4، ص 224)
فتاوی حقانیہ، ج ۱ ص ۲۱۸
[iv] سنن الترمذي 2317
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم “ مِنْ حُسْنِ إِسْلاَمِ الْمَرْءِ تَرْكُهُ مَا لاَ يَعْنِيهِ