How can I convince my mother to approve my decision of marriage?

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

I have a problem…

I know is not haram in Islam to get married with a man younger than me, but my mother doesnt accept it

She did not even get to know him , she is just predjudging… I respect my mother , but I really feel he is a good man who respect me more than anyone else did before, he is a man of God and he is studying to become an engenier InshaAllah.

He is 20 and I am almost 23 years old, he comes from a poor family, they love me and so do I… 

My mother dont care about money but she says I would waste my time waiting for him to finish his studies… So she do not want me to talk to him I decided to respect her but I am unhappy …

What should I tell my mother to accept him as my future husband inshaAllah ? Because the only issue for her is age , it must be something that can make her open her eyes!!

We both live in different countries 🙁


In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Your understanding of the issue is correct and at the same time, your mother’s concern is understandable.

It is correct of your mother to dislike the fact that you are communicating with the person in reference. It is impermissible to speak to him as he is like any other non-mahram stranger at this point, one will be sinful in doing so.

If you truly feel that this is a suitable proposal then involve other family members in this issue and consider their opinion as well. More importantly, one of the deciding factors should be isktikhārah and du‘ā’. If you see positive results from istikhārah and du‘ā’, then kindly convince your mother to accept the decision. If need be, have other senior family members convince her.

Furthermore, at any outcome, ensure that the feelings of your mother are not hurt, this point should be taken seriously.

And Allah Ta‘āla Knows Best

Fahad Abdul Wahab

Student Darul Iftaa


Checked and Approved by,

Mufti Ebrahim Desai                                                                                                                                                                                                        

This answer was collected from, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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