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How to deal with loss of mother?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

Recently my mother passed away on 4th feb (May Allah s.w.t. forgive her and enter her into paradise). I was very close to mom all my life valued her just the way a momeen should value jannah, She was my backbone…my inspiration..my strength, we had our differences but we made up. Three years ago when she was diagonised with some serious ailments i was shattered and was afraid of losing her. Since then she had been admitted to hospital thrice. i cared for her like a child …

But last year she fell ill in December …but i was so engrossed in work..we didnt talk much. I got irritated of her complains of illness and denial to try to new medications. I was totally indiferent to her.Never asked her what was wrong…what pain she is going through…..don’t know why i behaved like this….for two months even she didnt talk much to me…didnt show love towards me…i was angry on this..and may b she was angry on my dedication towards work.Now, i ma totally shattered…didnt talk to her much in the last two months of her life….please tell me was this aplan of Allah..so that i could cope with her loss?

does this happen often with people? I have this burden on my heart and want to ask her to forgive me….Will Allah forgive me for my this behaviour? I never anticipiated her death..thought she would be back as usual…..Please do recommend deeds that i can do on her behalf….Please give some dua so that i can have a little bit of sabr….Please answer ….


In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Whatever has happened is taqdeer. We believe in taqdeer and submit to it. That was the plan of Allah Ta’aalaa which is filled with wisdom which you will realise as time goes on. Your mother needs you now more than in her lifetime. Your love for her is also her good fortune. You should do acts of virtue on her behalf and also make lots of istighfaar for her. Both of you will benefit. Your mother will receive your gifts and in turn make dua for you.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Muhammad Haris Siddiqui

Student Darul Iftaa
Melbourne, Australia 

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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