Home » Hanafi Fiqh » Askimam.org » How can my wife manage the responsibility of looking after her parents and my family?

How can my wife manage the responsibility of looking after her parents and my family?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

Question 1: Question regarding the duties of my wife towards her parents.

I am married for 8 years now. My wife parents have two daughters including my wife and no Son.

My question is regarding the duties of my wife towards her parents as they dont have Son to take care of them.

My wife has to take care my family also (We have two kids). How she can manager taking care both her parents and my family. What will be my wife’s priority and how she can contribute on both teh side, Her parents live in different city.

Question 2: Who has more right on my financials apart from me ( my parents or my wife).ย 

Question 3: What will be my duties on my sisters interms of finacial support before thier marriageย 


In the Name of Allฤh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salฤmu โ€˜alaykum wa-rahmatullฤhi wa-barakฤtuh.

(1) It is well understood that Sharฤซโ€˜ah gives much importance towards the rights of parents. Allฤh Taโ€˜ฤla has clearly mentioned the rights of our parents in the Holy Qur`ฤn, consider the following verse:

ูˆูŽูˆูŽุตู‘ูŽูŠู’ู†ูŽุง ุงู„ู’ุฅูู†ู’ุณูŽุงู†ูŽ ุจููˆูŽุงู„ูุฏูŽูŠู’ู‡ู ุญูŽู…ูŽู„ูŽุชู’ู‡ู ุฃูู…ู‘ูู‡ู ูˆูŽู‡ู’ู†ู‹ุง ุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ูˆูŽู‡ู’ู†ู ูˆูŽููุตูŽุงู„ูู‡ู ูููŠ ุนูŽุงู…ูŽูŠู’ู†ู ุฃูŽู†ู ุงุดู’ูƒูุฑู’ ู„ููŠ ูˆูŽู„ููˆูŽุงู„ูุฏูŽูŠู’ูƒูŽ ุฅูู„ูŽูŠู‘ูŽ ุงู„ู’ู…ูŽุตููŠุฑูย 

And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. [Surah Al-Luqmฤn, 14]

As such, it is an extremely important aspect of marriage that one learns to establish a fair balance between the rights of oneโ€™s parents and the rights of the spouse. A couple will encounter various situations where both must make compromises for the sake of maintaining a blissful marriage.

With regards to question one, we understand the difficult situation of your wife where she holds the responsibility of looking after your household and at the same time her parents due to the circumstances mentioned in the query, however, the only obvious advice that could be given is that your wife must look after her parents as much as possible as well as looking after your household. In order for your wife to carry out such a responsibility, as a husband, it requires effort and support from your side as well so that she may fulfill her responsibilities in a peaceful manner. Furthermore, as a wife, she has the right to make occasional visits to her parentsโ€™ home[1].

(2) As stated above, one must establish a fair balance between the rights of oneโ€™s parents and the rights of the spouse. In light of this general principle, along with providing the necessary expenditure of your wife, you must also provide whatever support or help your parentsโ€™ require.

(3) A woman is in the care of her father before marriage and in the care of her husband after marriage. If the father is unable to look after her before marriage then other responsible family members are obliged to look after her, such as the brother.

As such, it is necessary that you undertake the responsibility of looking after your sister as much as possible.

And Allah Taโ€˜ฤla Knows Best

Fahad Abdul Wahab

Student Darul Iftaa


Checked and Approved by,

Mufti Ebrahim Desai ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย 


[1] [ู‚ุงู„ ุงู„ุญุตูƒููŠ] (ูˆูŽู„ูŽุง ูŠูŽู…ู’ู†ูŽุนูู‡ูŽุง ู…ูู†ู’ ุงู„ู’ุฎูุฑููˆุฌู ุฅู„ูŽู‰ ุงู„ู’ูˆูŽุงู„ูุฏูŽูŠู’ู†ู) ูููŠ ูƒูู„ู‘ู ุฌูู…ูุนูŽุฉู ุฅู†ู’ ู„ูŽู…ู’ ูŠูŽู‚ู’ุฏูุฑูŽุง ุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ุฅุชู’ูŠูŽุงู†ูู‡ูŽุง ุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ู…ูŽุง ุงุฎู’ุชูŽุงุฑูŽู‡ู ูููŠ ุงู„ูุงุฎู’ุชููŠูŽุงุฑู ูˆูŽู„ูŽูˆู’ ุฃูŽุจููˆู‡ูŽุง

[ู‚ุงู„ ุงุจู† ุนุงุจุฏูŠู†] (ู‚ูŽูˆู’ู„ูู‡ู ุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ู…ูŽุง ุงุฎู’ุชูŽุงุฑูŽู‡ู ูููŠ ุงู„ูุงุฎู’ุชููŠูŽุงุฑู) ุงู„ู‘ูŽุฐููŠ ุฑูŽุฃูŽูŠู’ุชูู‡ู ูููŠ ุงู„ูุงุฎู’ุชููŠูŽุงุฑู ุดูŽุฑู’ุญู ุงู„ู’ู…ูุฎู’ุชูŽุงุฑู: ู‡ูŽูƒูŽุฐูŽุง ู‚ููŠู„ูŽ ู„ูŽุง ูŠูŽู…ู’ู†ูŽุนูู‡ูŽุง ู…ูู†ู’ ุงู„ู’ุฎูุฑููˆุฌู ุฅู„ูŽู‰ ุงู„ู’ูˆูŽุงู„ูุฏูŽูŠู’ู†ู ูˆูŽู‚ููŠู„ูŽ ูŠูŽู…ู’ู†ูŽุนูุ› ูˆูŽู„ูŽุง ูŠูŽู…ู’ู†ูŽุนูู‡ูู…ูŽุง ู…ูู†ู’ ุงู„ุฏู‘ูุฎููˆู„ู ุฅู„ูŽูŠู’ู‡ูŽุง ูููŠ ูƒูู„ู‘ู ุฌูู…ูุนูŽุฉู ูˆูŽุบูŽูŠู’ุฑูŽู‡ูู…ู’ ู…ูู†ู’ ุงู„ู’ุฃูŽู‚ูŽุงุฑูุจู ูููŠ ูƒูู„ู‘ู ุณูŽู†ูŽุฉู ู‡ููˆูŽ ุงู„ู’ู…ูุฎู’ุชูŽุงุฑู. ุงู‡ู€ ููŽู‚ูŽูˆู’ู„ูู‡ู ู‡ููˆูŽ ุงู„ู’ู…ูุฎู’ุชูŽุงุฑู ู…ูู‚ูŽุงุจูู„ูู‡ู ุงู„ู’ู‚ูŽูˆู’ู„ู ุจูุงู„ุดู‘ูŽู‡ู’ุฑู ูููŠ ุฏูุฎููˆู„ู ุงู„ู’ู…ูŽุญูŽุงุฑูู…ู ูƒูŽู…ูŽุง ุฃูŽููŽุงุฏูŽู‡ู ูููŠ ุงู„ุฏู‘ูุฑูŽุฑู ูˆูŽุงู„ู’ููŽุชู’ุญูุŒ ู†ูŽุนูŽู…ู’ ู…ูŽุง ุฐูŽูƒูŽุฑูŽู‡ู ุงู„ุดู‘ูŽุงุฑูุญู ุงุฎู’ุชูŽุงุฑูŽู‡ู ูููŠ ููŽุชู’ุญู ุงู„ู’ู‚ูŽุฏููŠุฑู ุญูŽูŠู’ุซู ู‚ูŽุงู„ูŽ: ูˆูŽุนูŽู†ู’ ุฃูŽุจููŠ ูŠููˆุณูููŽ ูููŠ ุงู„ู†ู‘ูŽูˆูŽุงุฏูุฑู ุชูŽู‚ู’ูŠููŠุฏู ุฎูุฑููˆุฌูู‡ูŽุง ุจูุฃูŽู†ู’ ู„ูŽุง ูŠูŽู‚ู’ุฏูุฑูŽุง ุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ุฅุชู’ูŠูŽุงู†ูู‡ูŽุงุŒ ููŽุฅูู†ู’ ู‚ูŽุฏูŽุฑูŽุง ู„ูŽุง ุชูŽุฐู’ู‡ูŽุจู ูˆูŽู‡ููˆูŽ ุญูŽุณูŽู†ูŒุŒ ูˆูŽู‚ูŽุฏู’ ุงุฎู’ุชูŽุงุฑูŽ ุจูŽุนู’ุถู ุงู„ู’ู…ูŽุดูŽุงูŠูุฎู ู…ูŽู†ู’ุนูŽู‡ูŽุง ู…ูู†ู’ ุงู„ู’ุฎูุฑููˆุฌู ุฅู„ูŽูŠู’ู‡ูู…ูŽุง ูˆูŽุฃูŽุดูŽุงุฑูŽ ุฅู„ูŽู‰ ู†ูŽู‚ู’ู„ูู‡ู ูููŠ ุดูŽุฑู’ุญู ุงู„ู’ู…ูุฎู’ุชูŽุงุฑู. ูˆูŽุงู„ู’ุญูŽู‚ู‘ู ุงู„ู’ุฃูŽุฎู’ุฐู ุจูู‚ูŽูˆู’ู„ู ุฃูŽุจููŠ ูŠููˆุณูููŽ ุฅุฐูŽุง ูƒูŽุงู†ูŽ ุงู„ู’ุฃูŽุจูŽูˆูŽุงู†ู ุจูุงู„ุตู‘ูููŽุฉู ุงู„ู‘ูŽุชููŠ ุฐูŽูƒูŽุฑู’ุชุŒ ูˆูŽุฅูู„ู‘ูŽุง ูŠูŽู†ู’ุจูŽุบููŠ ุฃูŽู†ู’ ูŠูŽุฃู’ุฐูŽู†ูŽ ู„ูŽู‡ูŽุง ูููŠ ุฒููŠูŽุงุฑูŽุชูู‡ูู…ูŽุง ูููŠ ุงู„ู’ุญููŠู†ู ุจูŽุนู’ุฏูŽ ุงู„ู’ุญููŠู†ู ุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ ู‚ูŽุฏู’ุฑู ู…ูุชูŽุนูŽุงุฑูŽููุŒ ุฃูŽู…ู‘ูŽุง ูููŠ ูƒูู„ู‘ู ุฌูู…ูุนูŽุฉู ููŽู‡ููˆูŽ ุจูŽุนููŠุฏูŒุŒ ููŽุฅูู†ู‘ูŽ ูููŠ ูƒูŽุซู’ุฑูŽุฉู ุงู„ู’ุฎูุฑููˆุฌู ููŽุชู’ุญู ุจูŽุงุจู ุงู„ู’ููุชู’ู†ูŽุฉู ุฎูุตููˆุตู‹ุง ุฅุฐูŽุง ูƒูŽุงู†ูŽุชู’ ุดูŽุงุจู‘ูŽุฉู‹ ูˆูŽุงู„ุฒู‘ูŽูˆู’ุฌู ู…ูู†ู’ ุฐูŽูˆููŠ ุงู„ู’ู‡ูŽูŠู’ุฆูŽุงุชูุŒ ุจูุฎูู„ูŽุงูู ุฎูุฑููˆุฌู ุงู„ู’ุฃูŽุจูŽูˆูŽูŠู’ู†ู ููŽุฅูู†ู‘ูŽู‡ู ุฃูŽูŠู’ุณูŽุฑูŽ. ุงู‡ู€.

ูˆูŽู‡ูŽุฐูŽุง ุชูŽุฑู’ุฌููŠุญูŒ ู…ูู†ู’ู‡ู ู„ูุฎูู„ูŽุงูู ู…ูŽุง ุฐูŽูƒูŽุฑูŽ ูููŠ ุงู„ู’ุจูŽุญู’ุฑู ุฃูŽู†ู‘ูŽู‡ู ุงู„ุตู‘ูŽุญููŠุญู ุงู„ู’ู…ููู’ุชูŽู‰ ุจูู‡ู ู…ูู†ู’ ุฃูŽู†ู‘ูŽู‡ูŽุง ุชูŽุฎู’ุฑูุฌู ู„ูู„ู’ูˆูŽุงู„ูุฏูŽูŠู’ู†ู ูููŠ ูƒูู„ู‘ู ุฌูู…ูุนูŽุฉู ุจูุฅูุฐู’ู†ูู‡ู ูˆูŽุจูุฏููˆู†ูู‡ูุŒ ูˆูŽู„ูู„ู’ู…ูŽุญูŽุงุฑูู…ู ูููŠ ูƒูู„ู‘ู ุณูŽู†ูŽุฉู ู…ูŽุฑู‘ูŽุฉู‹ ุจูุฅูุฐู’ู†ูู‡ู ูˆูŽุจูุฏููˆู†ูู‡ู

(ุฑุฏ ุงู„ู…ุญุชุงุฑุŒ ุฌ ูฃุŒ ุต ูฆู ูขุŒ ุงูŠุฌ ุงูŠู… ุณุนูŠุฏ ูƒู…ุจู†ูŠ)

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

Read answers with similar topics: