iam a single muslim,being born in muslim family i have commited big sin in my life,i dont know what to do,iam weeping all day and night for this,i had consumed alchol several times and even i had sexual relation ship with one women,i regret for this and dont know whether i will be forgiven or not,i want your help please help me,iam a big sinner in my life,iam suffering lot in my life for this,i dont have a job,my family is pressurising me a lot,some times i think of commiting suicide,i am totally shattered in my life.i think allah subhanu tala is angry with me-thats why iam suffering lot in my life,i have repented many times ,will i be forgiven by allah
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Alhamdulillāh, now that you realize your sins and have made sincere repentance, first, you should realize the mercy of Allāh Ta’ālā and not despair from it.
قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَى أَنْفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ (الزمر: 53)
Say, “O Slaves of Mine who have transgressed against themselves! Do not despair from the mercy of Allāh. Verily, Allāh forgives all sins. Truly, he is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Qur’ān 39:53)
You should not think that Allāh Ta’ālā has not forgiven or will not forgive you for your sins. As Allāh Ta’ālā says to the sinning person, referring to him/her as His slave, He is al-Ghafūr (Oft-Forgiving) and al-Rahīm (Most Merciful). One should find peace and comfort in this āyāh and not remain depressed about his/her sins, entertaining further and more severe harām acts, especially suicide.
Have you thought about the ramifications of committing such an enormous sin? After everything your parents have done for you in your life, how can you make them suffer the grief that will follow such an act? Is this what a mother who spent day and night worrying about your slightest fever deserves? Or a father who worked and struggled to provide you with the comforts of life? Or is this the act you present in front of Allāh Ta’ālā after He promises you forgiveness if you make sincere repentance? How could you even think of committing such an act of cowardice that you think provides you relief, but really ruins your dunyā and ākhirah (Hereafter), not to mention the pain and suffering you will cause your loved ones?
As mentioned, rather than entertaining such harām acts, you need to make sincere tawbah and ignore any such evil thoughts. Next, you should immediately separate yourself from the initial harām act that lead you to commit sins, which is consuming alcohol and maintaining an informal relation with a non-mahram female. These are violations of the laws of Allāh Ta’ālā and are bound to lead to shameful and inappropriate acts, such as the ones you committed. You should immediately cut off relations with any non-mahram female acquaintances, for leaving the sin and not being persistent on it is one of the conditions of tawbah.
وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا فَعَلُوا فَاحِشَةً أَوْ ظَلَمُوا أَنْفُسَهُمْ ذَكَرُوا اللَّهَ فَاسْتَغْفَرُوا لِذُنُوبِهِمْ وَمَنْ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَلَمْ يُصِرُّوا عَلَى مَا فَعَلُوا وَهُمْ يَعْلَمُونَ (آل عمران: 135)
And those who, when they commit a shameful deed or wrong themselves, remember Allāh and seek forgiveness for their sins. And who forgives sins except for Allāh? And they do not persist in what they have done, while they know. (Qur’ān 3:135)
In addition, you may take extra steps to ensure the forgiveness of yours sins. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم advised us:
حدثنا محمد بن بشار حدثنا عبد الرحمن بن مهدي حدثنا سفيان عن حبيب بن أبي ثابت عن ميمون بن أبي شيب عن ابي ذر قال : قال لي رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم اتق الله حيثما كنت وأتبع السيئة الحسنة تمحها وخالق الناس بخلق حسن
(سنن الترمذي، كتاب البر والصلة، باب معاشرة الناس: 4/355؛ إحياء التراث)
Fear Allāh wherever you may be, follow-up a bad deed with a good one for it will erase it, and treat people with excellent etiquettes (Tirmidhī)
Therefore, in order to erase your bad deeds, you should make an effort to increase you good deeds. These good deeds may include additional prayers, dhikr, tilāwah of the Qur’ān, being more respectful to your parents, etc. You may also give some sadaqah, according to your capabilities, as this cools the anger of Allāh Ta’ālā.
حدثنا عقبة بن مكرم العمي البصري حدثنا عبد الله بن عيسى الخزاز البصري عن يونس بن عبيد عن الحسن عن أنس بن مالك : قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم إن الصدقة لتطفئ غضب الرب وتدفع عن ميته السوء
(سنن الترمذي، كتاب الزكاة، باب فضل الصدقة: 3/52؛ إحياء التراث)
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, “Verily, charity cools the Lord’s anger and prevents an evil death” (Tirmidhī)
After taking note and following up on all the above points, you should not remain depressed, but rather have hope in and expectation from Allāh Ta’ālā that He has forgiven you. These sins should not be a means of wanting to end your life. Rather, it should be that event in your life that causes you to live as a better, more God-fearing Muslim.
Yet, if, despite all this, you still feel sadness and grief, then you may also recite the following du’ā:
اللّهُمَّ إنِّي عَبْدُكَ وَابْنُ عَبْدِكَ وابْنُ أمَتِكَ ناصِيَتِيْ بِيَدِكَ ماضٍ فِيَّ حُكْمُكَ عَدْلٌ فِيَّ قَضاؤُكَ أسْألُكَ بِكُلِّ اسْمٍ هُوَ لَكَ سَمَّيْتَ بِهِ نَفْسَكَ أوْ أنْزَلْتَهُ فِيْ كِتابِكَ أَوْ عَلَّمْتَهُ أَحَداً مِنْ خَلْقِكَ أَوِ اسْتَأْثَرْتَ بِهِ فِيْ عِلْمِ الْغَيْبِ عِنْدَكَ أَنْ تَجْعَلَ الْقُرْآنَ الْعَظِيْمَ رَبِيْعَ قَلْبِيْ وَنُوْرَ بَصَرِيْ وَجِلاءَ حُزْنِيْ وَذَهابَ هَمِّيْ
O Allāh, I am your servant, son of your servant, son of your [female] servant. My forelock is in your hands (i.e. I am under your complete control). Your decrees are bound to prevail on me and your judgments about me are just. I ask you by every name You have given Yourself, revealed in Your book, taught anyone of Your creation, or You alone have knowledge of, that you make the Glorious Qur’ān a source of delight for my heart, the light of my eyes, and the healer of my grief and worry (al-Hisnul Hasin, pg. 176-177; Islamic Promotions)
Finally, you should build an islāhi ta’alluq (bond of self-rectification) with a Shaykh who can help you with your spiritual weaknesses. InshāAllāh, when you build a closer, stronger relationship with Allāh Ta’ālā, you will notice positive changes in your life.
And Allah knows best
Wassalaamu `alaykum
Ml. Abrar Mirza,
Student Darul Iftaa
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah