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My husband is addicted to internet porn. I have tried to confront him but my answer is that Allah Ta’aalah has created man with different needs from women. I feel cheated, HELP!!!

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org
Answer

Jazakallah for presenting your problem to the institute.

You mention your husband’s habit of viewing porn and how this negatively impacts upon you. Sister let me suggest to you that you should not take his actions personally. He is an adult and fully accountable for his acts of omission and commission. I can also understand that you feel hurt and rejected. You are Allah Ta’ala’s gift to your husband and through the institution of marriage Allah Ta’ala made sexual gratification and pleasure lawful for your husband with you. Yet he turns to haraam and commits Zina of the eyes, heart and perhaps ears too. You have perhaps already spoken to him about the pain it is causing you and also how abhorrent this practice must be to Allah Ta’ala and that he should stop viewing porn.

Sister use the opportunity of Ramadaan to create a most beautiful atmosphere of deen in your home. Encourage all your family members to spend more time reciting the Quran. Let each member choose at least one ‘ruku’ a day to read in English with all of you sitting together and listening and learning why, what for and how Allah Ta’ala tells us to conduct our lives as Muslims. You could perhaps choose relevant sections on love, marriage, obedience to Allah Ta’ala, the relationship between husband and wife etc. You could also speak to an a’aleem and ask him which sections could possibly have the greatest effect on your husband. Be careful not to single him out in front of anybody but use your wisdom, tact and love to win your husband over.

Allah Ta’ala has created men and women with equal sexual desires. There is no scientific proof that men have greater or more sexual desires than women. Allah Ta’ala has commanded men and women to practice modesty, so your husband’s assertion is incorrect. If it was that men have greater and different needs, why did Allah Ta’ala command women to be careful also?

The important issue here is not of who has the greater need for sexual gratification, but that the need should be fulfilled according to Allah Ta’ala’s commands and that haraam must be avoided. When a man makes love to his wife, he earns rewards from Allah Ta’ala, this act of his with his wife is a form of ibaadah. He fulfills his wife’s rights, he showers his love on his wife and acknowledges that she pleases him and he pleases her. Their marital bond becomes stronger too. He abstains from sin, and he thus submits to Allah Ta’ala’s commands.

When he views porn, he condemns himself to Allah Ta’ala’s wrath, he becomes a tool of shaitaan who is hell-bent on destroying him and his imaan becomes weakened. He should think about the fact that the situation or act in which a person dies is the very one in which a person will be raised up on Qiyamat day. What will the position be of one whose last sighting and thoughts were engrossed in haraam? Another very disturbing aspect of porn is that most of these evil movies are made by using girls, women and children who have been kidnapped or tricked into slavery as part of the ‘sex-trade’. How can any man who has a mother, sister, wife, daughter, nieces etc ever bring himself to view pictures of women who have been torn away from their loved ones and forced into this awful life? Instead all men and especially Muslim men, should rather go and
destroy this sex-trade wherever it exists, this will bring Allah Ta’ala’s mercy to descend on human beings.

I suggest that you make lots of dua and ask Allah Ta’ala to guide all of us, men and women on the right path and away from evil. Read tahadjud salaah in abundance, ask your husband to join you, especially in Ramadaan. Insha’allah, he will realise his mistakes and turn to Allah Ta’ala with sincererity and repentance.

May Allah Ta’ala soften our hearts and guide us all towards good and away from evil. Ameen.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

1SOCIAL DEPT.

CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai

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