I am married but rukhsati is not done yet. I love my husband very much, I love him personality wise, nature wise etc. but I don’t get physically attracted to him. The reason is, Allah has blessed me with lot of beauty and he is really average looking (unattractive), I feel bad about not being attracted to him, its really frustrating to me . Is there any Dua or wazeefa that can help with my problem?
We do empathize with your concern.
Before you accepted the proposal, were you happy? When you saw the boy – now your husband? This is important. Were you forced into acceptance? Is your husband deeni inclined, meaning has the Love of Allah Ta’ala? (Knows of Allah Ta’ala)
Your background would help to understand the situation in a clearer light enabling suitable responses/options. Nevertherless, looking from a positive point of view. Then Allah Azza WaJalla for His Great Kindness of bestowing you with physical beauty. 2NDLY – A person like your husband may not have the physical beauty like yourself however does her possess inner beauty, beautiful qualities, personality etc. (N.B. If he is a drug addict or abuse or vulgerthen it’s of major concern – don’t ignore this, discuss it with your elders.) 3RDLY – Perhaps ponder – Think of Miss World, everyone admires her, she is gorgeous, beautiful etc etc etc – But what would happen to her if she suddenly met with an accident and her face was scarred – What guarantee does she have that this does not happen – (read through the passages of history) then all fame beauty etc is forgotten – the world does not love her anymore. Hence, keep thanking Allah for one’s beauty and seek for beauty of character also. Perchance there may be certain qualities which your husband may have to tolerate about you.
In the above matter, write down all the positive points about your husband and yourself and all the negative points, also – on making of your marriage – consider making Istikaarah on making your marriage – thereafter – perhaps discuss your feelings with elders in your family who will understand you and have your concern at heart – thereafter think of possible options to your problem. If he is fat – perhaps he can be advised to exercise – if grooming or health, etc. that too can be advised.
You may after pondering over the pros and cons still correspond your feelings, thought and possible options through. N.B. Do not lose hope in the Mercy Of Allah . Seek from Allah – especially since we learn from Allah – especially since we learn from the Quraan, from the signs of Allah Ta’ala , Allah Ta’aal puts ‘Mawaddah’ – love, ‘Sakina’ – peace and ‘Rahma’ in a Nikah. And Allah’s word is most certainly true. May Allah Ta’ala grant you with lots of love and happiness in your future, whatever is the outcome.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
2SOCIAL DEPT.
CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai