Does boy or girl has to propose first , then after their agreement do istikhara? Are parents to be informed of the istikhara before it takes place? Do both the girl and the boy do istikhara or just boy? Please give me full detailed info of required steps that must be taken prior to doing istikhara in the light of sunnah of Rasululloh (saw)
The custom varies in different places and background. The most appropriate
way to go about is that, first the boy see the girl. Shari’ah has given
permission for this. However, this should be taken seriously.
Once a person is seriously interested in marrying, he should see the girl.
Thereafter, both the boy and girl should make Istikhaara. According to our
custom, the boy makes Istikhaara and if he is interested, he proposes. When
the girl receives the proposal, then she makes Istikhaara and if it works
and she is interested, then she accepts the proposal.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai