Why is dating Haraam?

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

A Muslim in this world can either live in accordance with the teachings of Islam and thus reconcile his faith with his practical life by living like a true Muslim or he can live a life that is at odds with his faith and in doing so he goes against the teachings of Islam.

If a girl or boy enters into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship, then he/she is entering into a pre-marital relationship which is Haram (strictly prohibited). Pre-marital relationship is like an extra-marital relationship.

Islam has taken a firm and decisive stance against Zina (adultery).

Allah Ta’āla says in the Quran:

وَلاَ تَقْرَبُواْ الزِّنَى إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَآءَ سَبِيلاً (الاسراء: 32)

Translation: Do not even go close to fornication. Indeed, it is ever an immorality, and an evil way to follow. (Al-Isra: 32)

Thus, Islam not only prohibits Zina, but also closes all the possible roads leading to Zina. This is achieved by prohibiting every step and means leading to stimulating and aggravating desires.

At this stage one may proclaim that girlfriend-boyfriend relationships don’t go as far as the sexual act; they can control themselves and simply enjoy each other’s company.

This assumption is incorrect as it is a fact that when a girl and boy are alone together, their sexual desires awaken and before they know it, they will be doing things that are not permissible between unmarried people. Butter placed next to fire will certainly melt. The desire (butter) in a man will certainly melt in front of the beauty and attraction (fire) of a woman.

Dating creates a desire in the heart that is difficult to overcome until man engages further and further in impermissible actions and becomes trapped by his desires and thoughts.

Islam does not wish to hurt or put a Muslim through emotional suffering. One should contemplate that when a girl or boy enters into a relationship, it is very difficult for a man to overcome his carnal desires, so to fulfill his desires he enters into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship with a girl, and his motive of entering into such a relationship is to fulfill his desires and is destroying the girl’s life. At times the girl falls into the trap of boys and entertain the relationship. When the boy breaks up with the girl and ends the relationship, she goes through extreme emotional pain and distress and feels as if her life is over.

At the same time, a girl may also use a boy for his money etc. and when the girl breaks up with the boy, the boy goes through the same emotion of being betrayed and used.

As Muslims we believe that the Quran is the Word of Allah, and that Allah knows what is best for us. Allah Ta’āla says in the Quran:

قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ذَلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ (النور: 30)

Translation: Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do. (Al-Nur:30)

Consider the following Hadith of Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam):

عن ابن مسعود عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال: “العينان تزنيان، واليدان تزنيان، والرِجْلان تزنيان، والفرج يزني (مسند أحمد: 82/4)

Translation: “The eyes commit Zina, the hands commit Zina and feet commit Zina and the genitals commit Zina.” (Musnad Ahmad: 4/82)^[1]

Even in the Hereafter, the punishment will be very severe as was attested by the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) when he went in Mi’raj, the adulterers, men and women, were in a scorching oven in Hellfire.^[2]

This is why Islam closes all avenues leading to corruption of the mind, body and soul. May Allah protect us from this evil act and guard us against all ways that lead to it.

When butter is kept close to the fire, it will melt irrespective of how the butter is kept and positioned.

A Muslim in this world can either live in accordance with the teachings of Islam and thus reconcile his faith with his practical life by living like a true Muslim or he can live a life that is at odds with his faith and in doing so he goes against the teachings of Islam.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Abdullah Syed Sajid

Student Darul Iftaa      
Houston, TX, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

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^[1] مسند أحمد ت شاكر (4/ 82) 

حدثنا عفان حدثنا هَمَّام حدثنا عاصم بن بَهْدَلة عن أبي الضُّحى عن مسروق عن ابن مسعود عن النبي – صلى الله عليه وسلم – أنه قال: العينان تزنيان، واليدان تزنيان، والرِجْلان تزنيان، والفرج يزني

^[2] صحيح البخاري (9/ 44) 

 قالا لي: انطلق انطلق، فانطلقنا، فأتينا على مثل التنور – قال: فأحسب أنه كان يقول – فإذا فيه لغط وأصوات ” قال: «فاطلعنا فيه، فإذا فيه رجال ونساء عراة، وإذا هم يأتيهم لهب من أسفل منهم، فإذا أتاهم ذلك اللهب ضوضوا» قال: ” قلت لهما: ما هؤلاء؟ …. وأما الرجال والنساء العراة الذين في مثل بناء التنور، فإنهم الزناة والزواني