My cousin is insisting on talking to me before marriage, what should I do?

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

I used to talk to my cousin for many years.we liked each other but now i realise that talking to a cousin before marriage is not a good thing.I talked to my cousin about this but he said that talking to a cousin is not a bad thing when he is going to be your husband in the future.Our families also agreed for our marriage but later on.My cousin still forcing me to talk to him until wo got married but I’m confused what to do.Tell me what should i do?


Sister in Islaam,

Your cousin is a ghair mahram to you until he marries you. A ghair mahram is a person with whom marriage is not prohibited. It is compulsory to observe laws of hijab with a ghair mahram.[i] It is not permissible to have free and unnecessarily talk with a ghair mahram. If your cousin who is your husband to be, wish to talk to you then he may marry you now to legitimise free talking with you. Both of you may mutually agree to live jointly at a later stage.

And Allah Ta`ala Knows Best.

Hussein Muhammad.

Student Darul Iftaa


Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

[i] حُرِّمَتْ عَلَيْكُمْ أُمَّهَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُكُمْ وَأَخَوَاتُكُمْ وَعَمَّاتُكُمْ وَخَالَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُ الْأَخِ وَبَنَاتُ الْأُخْتِ وَأُمَّهَاتُكُمُ اللَّاتِي أَرْضَعْنَكُمْ وَأَخَوَاتُكُمْ مِنَ الرَّضَاعَةِ وَأُمَّهَاتُ نِسَائِكُمْ وَرَبَائِبُكُمُ اللَّاتِي فِي حُجُورِكُمْ مِنْ نِسَائِكُمُ اللَّاتِي دَخَلْتُمْ بِهِنَّ فَإِنْ لَمْ تَكُونُوا دَخَلْتُمْ بِهِنَّ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ وَحَلَائِلُ أَبْنَائِكُمُ الَّذِينَ مِنْ أَصْلَابِكُمْ وَأَنْ تَجْمَعُوا بَيْنَ الْأُخْتَيْنِ إِلَّا مَا قَدْ سَلَفَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَحِيمًا

سورة النساء 23

وَقُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ

سورة النور 31

ثم أخبر سبحانه وتعالى أنه أحل ما وراء ذلك بقوله: {وأحل لكم ما وراء ذلكم} [النساء: 24] وبنات الأعمام والعمات والأخوال والخالات لم يذكرن في المحرمات فكن مما وراء ذلك فكن محللات                    بدائع الصنائع في ترتيب الشرائع Vol 3, Pg411.

.  [i]

This answer was collected from, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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