Answered by: Muftiyah Safiyya-Maryam Ahmed
Question:
A woman moved abroad to get married. The husband is not allowing her to visit her parents. Is she allowed to leave without her husband’s permission?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
Mutual compassion and respect between husband and wife are key to a healthy marriage; both parties must be sensitive to each other’s feelings in order to facilitate harmony in the marriage. The husband must understand how difficult it is for a woman to leave her country, family and friends in order to get married, and how desperately she must miss her parents the way he would if he were in her position. He should also respect that the wife has a duty of care towards her parents whilst they are alive and is in need of their duaas. Having an empathetic approach is best for dealing with these kinds of marital issues, however, if one is in need of scholarly references then the esteemed Hanafi scholar Imam Ibn Abideen [rahimahullah] mentions in his Radd Al-Muhtaar that the husband should give permission for the wife to visit her parents from time to time according to what is acceptable in the culture.
In this scenario, the difficulty lies in the parents being abroad, for if they were closer they would be able to visit the daughter and the husband should not object, and she likewise would be able to visit them more easily. However, in this situation, the wife would not be able to travel abroad firstly, without a mahram and secondly, without the permission of her husband because her safety is his responsibility. The wife should first attempt to understand his reasoning and then work around that- is it financial reasons, does he want to go but has other commitments, would he allow her to travel with another family member, is he concerned about her welfare or the welfare of any children etc.? If he usually has no problems with her communicating with the parents but cannot facilitate the wife travelling abroad then she should not despair, rather she should have patience and attempt to resolve this in respectable and loving ways. It will not be permissible for her to go without his permission and it would be damaging to their marital relationship. She should remember that Allah Ta’ala will immensely reward her for respecting her husband, and he should remember that Allah Ta’ala has commanded husbands to “Live with them in accordance with what is fair and kind” [Nisaa: 19] and that he also will be held accountable for any maltreatment towards her.
Only Allah knows best
Written by Muftiyah Safiyya-Maryam Ahmed
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
( قوله على ما اختاره في الاختيار ) الذي رأيته في الاختيار شرح المختار : هكذا قيل لا يمنعها من الخروج إلى الوالدين وقيل يمنع ; ولا يمنعهما من الدخول إليها في كل جمعة وغيرهم من الأقارب في كل سنة هو المختار . ا هـ فقوله هو المختار مقابله القول بالشهر في دخول المحارم كما أفاده في الدرر والفتح ، نعم ما ذكره الشارح اختاره في فتح القدير حيث قال : وعن أبي يوسف في النوادر تقييد خروجها بأن لا يقدرا على إتيانها ، فإن قدرا لا تذهب وهو حسن ، وقد اختار بعض المشايخ منعها من الخروج إليهما وأشار إلى نقله في شرح المختار . والحق الأخذ بقول أبي يوسف إذا كان الأبوان بالصفة التي ذكرت ، وإلا ينبغي أن يأذن لها في زيارتهما في الحين بعد الحين على قدر متعارف ، أما في كل جمعة فهو بعيد ، فإن في كثرة الخروج فتح باب الفتنة خصوصا إذا كانت شابة والزوج من ذوي الهيئات ، بخلاف خروج الأبوين فإنه أيسر . ا هـ .(رد المحتار, باب النفقة, مطلب في المؤنسة, صفحة ٦٠٣, جزء ٣, المكتبة الإسلامية)