Answered by: Alimah Sofia Mirza
Question:
Assalāmu’alaikum! As there were many disputes between mother-in-law and daughter in law. The wife demanded separate accommodation, but the husband says he will keep her and the kid in the new separate accommodation but he can’t stay with her as he will not be able to fulfil his mom’s rights.
He says he will stay in his old room, get ready, dress up there, sleep there etc.. he says will have breakfast with his wife and dinner with mom, will come and meet his wife daily but will not sleep with her will sleep in his old room in moms house.
Is this correct? can the wife object to his decision? Moreover how can staying with a wife doesn’t fulfil his mom’s right ?!
Can you please also enlighten what are the rights of a son on mother when staying separately?
Moreover, the mother has two sons my husband is not the only son although the other son stays with her, my husband also wants to stay with her only, he says husband is not obliged to stay with his wife he is only obliged to provide the wife with separate accommodation is it right ?!
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
There are many cultural interferences regarding this matter, in Islam, the wife is not obliged to stay in the same house as her in-laws and serve them if she is not willing. It is the responsibility of the husband to provide a separate house for the wife or a separate area if the in-laws also reside in the house [1]. In your case, the husband is obliged to provide another house if the wife is not happy with sharing her accommodation and he must take care of her in all aspects. The rights of his mother and wife should not be compromised to favour one and if the wife is being affected by his attention towards the mother he has to discuss a proper method of resolving the situation with his wife and should not completely stay with his mother at her house as now he is responsible for his wife’s wellbeing and will be questioned on the Day of judgment as to whether he had fulfilled her rights including his dealings with her. He should respect his mother’s needs and his wife’s and if there are other children present to look after the mother it will not be appropriate for him to compromise his married life for her but should respect her and attend to her if she needs with a balance.
Only Allah knows best
Written by Alimah Sofia Mirza
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
[1] Fatawa Al Hindiyyah, Darul Kutub al Ilmiyyah, Vol 1. Pg. 578
تجب السكنى لها عليه في بيت خال عن اهله واهلها الا ان تختار ذلك
امرأة ابت ان تسكن مع ضرتها او مع احمائها كأمه و غير ذلك فإن في الدار بيوت و فرغ لها بيتا و جعل لبيتها غلقا على حدة ليس لها ان تطلب من الزوج بيتا اخر