- As-salaamu ‘aleykoom wa Rahmatullah, I have a little sister who is 10. She yells and screams at my mother and everyone else. She throws a fit a tossing things. She lies and even someone someone was a witness. She says she wishes she could ‘go home.’ and that she wishes she has a “real mom”. Please advise, she is getting worse and worse and we see no apparent reason for this behavior. She talks in a funny baby voice all the time, and she cries non stop. And she can cut off the crying in a split second. My mom works very hard to take care of us without a dad here. My mom thinks she had a jin or something, she wants tot ake her to counseling. I told her we need to ask the Ulema first.
We live in the country in USA and have no Ulema near by. Jazakallahu khairan
Jazakallah for writing to the institute regarding the problems your family is having with your little sister’s behavior. Allow me to suggest that you first examine various possible or probable causes for her behavior. These are some of the areas you may wish to explore to see where the problme may lie. Is she being bullied at school or is she unhappy at school? For instances, is peer pressure heavy on her, is there an inability to cope with the rate or scope of work, inability to relate with one or more teachers. Has she perhaps recently had an infection which could have not completely settled or left some residue? Did your mum or another person whom she is close to go to hospital or leave her for sometime which is causing her some amount of insecurity? What type of discipline does your mother apply?
If she does not comply or if she misbehaves, is she treated with punishment which will result in her being separated from her mum or loved ones? Is she told that she is a very bad person or not loved because she is naughty and disruptive? Did something happen or did someone scare her that she now rejects her own mum and wishes for another mum? Have you checked her out for a minor form of epilepsy which is called “Petit Mal”? Speak to your general practioner about your concerns please.
Brother, these are just some suggestions. I think it is important for you to keep an open mind and explore various reasons which may exist for the change in her behavior. It is important to remain supportive and to let her know that she is loved even though her behavior is not understood. Consult your doctor regarding the need for counseling if it is indicated. Do also encourage her to perform salaah, make dua and darood shareef and to read the Quran daily. Remove all undesirable items eg. TV, photos of images etc if they are in the house.You are welcome to write again if you need to.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Sister Fadila
SOCIAL DEPT.
CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai (FATWA DEPT)