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How should I deal with a chirchir saas

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Tafseer Raheemi

Question: I live with my in-laws and I am in a tricky situation. It is about my mother in law she keeps on interfering with me and my husband’s life. She makes upsetting comments to me and criticises me in everything. I do the housework and cleaning and cooking and don’t mind but when I cook she criticises me and makes me feel really down. If me and my husband plan to go out she doesn’t like it and usually becomes moody …………..pls guide me to what should be done and is my mother-in-law wrong for doing this? … My husband says he does not want to do anything as it is between his mum and me. Please make du’a that this situation gets better.


Answer: Your mother-in-law is in the wrong. She is much older than you and should be wise enough not to treat you like that. I recommend you do the following things:

1.​Make du’a for her that Allah (s.w.t.) gives her some understanding, kindness and inclines her heart towards you.

2.​You should tell your husband to take control of the situation. He should sit down with his mother and try his best to cool things down. He is wrong in saying that this is between you and his mother. You are married to him and Whatever khidmat you do should be appreciated by him and he should help you in continuing with it.

3.​Be patient. Sometimes old age makes a person, what we call “chirchir” (fussy) which is why they cannot stop nagging. Console yourself by telling your nafs that she is your second mother and deal with her gently.

May Allah (s.w.t.) make matters easy for you and reward you for your patience.

This answer was collected from Tafseer-Raheemi.com the official website of Sheikh Abdul Raheem Limbada (Hafizahullah) of UK.

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