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Fear of being unable to satisfy one’s wife

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: I am a male, 26 years old and newly married (7months). My wife and I are very good humans with average Islamic knowledge but very happy. I provide almost every common thing she needs and she is very happy in today’s era, a car, house, clothes, food hangout, movies etc. very good and my parents are really happy with her. I have been a a bad human before and only Allah can forgive for the sins but I hate the past and very happy with present and looking for a better future.. Since I have had multiple sexual relations before and everything, I don’t have a high sex drive anymore and my wife is pretty much a virgin as I know her family background and since I know women alot, I can tell that after living for 7 months with her… The thing is she is not interested in sex and because I have done so much bad in my past I also feel fine and I am never upset or sad when she gives me excuse if I try… But I am just scared since I want to be a nice Muslim. If this is my duty to satisfy her or if angels or Allah is angry at her bcz of me? I don’t want sex from her if she cannot give me and I want her to go to heaven and that’s why even if I have 1% sad feeling about sex I just say Allah I am happy and not upset with her I swear dont be angry on. But on my part I am scared if she curse me for not giving her sex? Since as I know women well but in this case by grace of Allah I am very nice husband overall so I have no doubt she is happy with everything else also the other thing I am scared is if she doesn’t find me attractive? Since I’m not a handsome guy compare to average but women do get attached with guys if together so that shouldn’t be issue.. My question is is it ok if we r happy and we don’t sex at all or is it a must to have sex also i dont want kids now aswell so sex for pleasure is the only thing I’m worried about her the most.


A: If you all are happy with the way you are living presently then there is no problem.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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